Burn Baby Burn!

Mister B. Gone

By Clive Barker

Release Date October 2007

Pages 256

Mister B. Gone marks the long-awaited return of Clive Barker, the great master of the macabre, to the classic horror story. This bone-chilling novel, in which a medieval devil speaks directly to his reader--his tone murderous one moment, seductive the next--is a never-before-published memoir allegedly penned in the year 1438. The demon has embedded himself in the very words of this tale of terror, turning the book itself into a dangerous object, laced with menace only too ready to break free and exert its power.

A brilliant and truly unsettling tour de force of the supernatural, Mister B. Gone escorts the reader on an intimate and revelatory journey to uncover the shocking truth of the battle between Good and Evil.

I did at times find myself-talking to Mister B out loud. The Book really draws you in once you get to the middle of the book. But did this new concept work. Well... I did enjoy the whole demons vs angels story, the crappy dad and the way he told the story of Hell. I really want to tell you I liked this book but I'm not sure I can.

It took me a long time to read this but I did not want to give up on it. With that said if you see in it in the dump bin for $3.00 buy it you may like it. As for me,

2 Bloody Brains out of 5

Nooooooooooo

This is for you Rusty!

http://www.nooooooooooooooo.com/

I love it check it out!

"Don't go into the light!"

Zelda Rubinstein Passed away today Wednesday, January 27Th. Best Known for the role that freaked me out Tangina Barrons of Poltergeist fame. She Passed away of natural causes at Barlow Respiratory Hospital in Los Angeles. She was 76 years old.

She was born May 28,1933, in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

In 1983, she won a Saturn Award for her work in Poltergeist (1982) Best Supporting Actress.

Her roles in Sixteen Candles as the organist, Teen Witch, Witchcraft, and Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon one of my all time favorite movies.

Boy my butt Hurts, CockHammer!

CockHammer
Rated MA 18+
Release Date 2009
Run Time 81 minutes
Starring The Hack Movie Gang
Kevin Strange
Joe Hammerstone
Erik Williams
Thaddeus Starbuckle
Amiee Donahue
Katie Dearest
Director: Kevin Strange
DVD Special Features include -Director Commentary -Cast Commentary -"Behind the cock" Vignettes -Bloopers! -and much more!

The Story: "CockHammer is the story of Terrence and Perander, two pill-popping swinger losers who's girlfriends are mysteriously kidnapped by CockHammer, a snuff porn kingpin, and occult sorcerer bent on unlocking the secrets of the dreaded black mage diary! Will Terrence and Perander figure out his heinous intentions and rescue their bitches in time to get their assholes fucked, or will the girls become the latest victims in CockHammer's elaborate plot to become a demigod?!

Where Did I find This: Flash Back Weekend vendor table. Me " so which one should I buy" Kevin" well here its (pointing to the movies on the table) (movie one:) no tits (movie two) a few tits (movie three) allot of tits!" Me "I'll take it" hands Hack Movies 10 bucks and walks away. Eric "I like his selling style"

I heard of Hack Movies out of a small town down south in Illinois through MySpace. I had the joy of meeting them for the first time at fango con in 2008. They gave me a demo disk, that cracked me up. This was right up my alley I love nothing more than cheesy no budget movies. So when I ran into them at FlashBack I knew I was going home with one cheese filled DVD.

What can I say other then they delivered! This was a well thought out movie not just gibberish tossed in a blender and spewed out onto a DVD. The make-up for a low budget was spot on. The actors did a fine job as well. Now the Boobs, they are there this is true and I guess this is a good thing because all good horror flicks have naked horror chicks. They may not be hot but they are boobs after all.
Now I must say this movie is not for everybody hell it is not for many people at all. I have never heard of a male and female lower extremity's listed in so many ways. And how many names can one group come up with for your backside? But that is part of this beauty the gift for gab. In a way, I felt like I was watching a very dirty Kevin Smith movie. I love talky movies and this one was not bad in the sense. You can tell that this group of friends does not have much to do in Southern Illinois other than smoke pot drink beer and make great low budget horror flicks. They have a great passion for what they are doing and are putting everything they have into their movies.
This movie was picked up by a small distributor Tempo Video allowing the world the chance to pick this up on major websites.This is one of those movies I would have brought into Suncoast Video to sell.
I look forward to the next video from these guys. They have those great flicks to sit in the man cave with a few bud's some beer and chips and a great time. Now I need to go listen to Hanna Monta to get their website promo song out of my head. Rock on Hack Movies Rock on!

Trailer Link

4 out 5 Bloody Brains

Not My Slice Of Pie

American Pie Presents Book of Love

Rated NR

Release Date:December 22, 2009

Running Time: 94 Minutes

Genre: Comedy

Director: John Putch

Cast:Eugene Levy, Bug Hall, Kevin M. Horton, Brandon Hardesty, Beth Behrs, Melanie Papalia,
Jennifer Holland, John Patrick Jordan, Cindy Busby, Naomi Hewer, Adrienne Carter

Dvd Extras:interactive menus; scene access; deleted scenes; gag reel; behind-the-scenes featurette; additional featurettes.

The Story: When Rob (Bug Hall), Nathan (Kevin M. Horton) and Lube (Brandon Hardesty) discover the sex bible left behind by their horny predecessors at East Great Falls High School, the hilarious quest for landing babes continues as the desperate virgins set out to score the big home run. But with the well-used and hallowed manual worn and missing some pertinent information, the boys' mission to lose their virginity is one hilarious mishap after another

Where did I pick this up: Netflix

Ok wow, how do I start this review? Hmm well, I like the American Pie spin-offs they have not been so bad. You laugh you see some nice flesh the Stiffler spin-off it is not bad. Anyhow that was then this is now. From opening credits in this movie was nothing but jokes that have been done already. Not one new thing and the cast was so dull I almost did not finish it. The 3rd act was a bad rip off of all the great 80's teen flicks like "Hot Dog" and "the Sure Thing". It just did not work. Anyway, I say skip it don't buy it's a rental only.

The best part of the movie was all the cameos at the end. The girls not cute but there is flesh and peanut butter sex that is not good.

2 Bloody Brains

ok I'll Do it! Happy New Year.

So I keep reading all these Top 10 lists that everybody thinks they need to do. Then I ran across something different the Top 10 Horror Movies of the Decade. And it made my think hey way not nobody really reads my rambles anyway and it would be fun. Besides my taste is so far different from everybody else on this planet, don't believe ask my brother.

First a few Honorable Mentions:

• My Name is Bruce; Staring, written and directed by Bruce Campbell himself. He really saved his ass with this one after The Man with the Screaming Brain. If you are a fan of Campbell you have seen this and you get it. If not well get out from that rock you dork.
• Jason X; Why because I think this is one of the best Friday the 13Th they have made in years. Kane Hodder is Jason, the way he moves and walks, he really brings him to life. Sure they take the battle into space and that can be lame but for me it works, but the new evil upgrade was well done and received. I remember when this movie was never getting the release that it needed and the early days of the Internet I was able to score a bootleg and I was glad I did. The DVD is packed with great extras. I proudly display my Kane Hodder signed DVD front and center.

So as you can see already My list is going to be way different from yours ...Maybe? Know on with the blog.

• 10. Hatchet "Old School American Horror". When I meet Adam Green at flashback I had already heard a lot of good things about this movie. After listing to his Q&A I was hooked. I could not wait for the DVD release. Sure the ending sucks butt the rest of the movie blew me away. Looking forward to Hatchet 2 and Frozen later this year.
• 9. Texas Chain Saw Massacre; Why you ask, well as far as remakes go this was done really well. The update to the story worked, a the actors hit the spot. Makeup was great and it was at the time one of the best sounding movies. The DVD packaging was great and the DTS works well from home theaters.
• 8. Devils Rejects; Rob Zombie grew up with his second afford. The dirt the grit the cast and the lines make this a great movie. The 70's style works for this and it did not get weird at the end like his first movie.
• 7. My Bloody Valentine; finally somebody in Hollywood heard me. I have said all along quit trying to remake good movies that everybody already likes but remake the crap movies and make them better! I liked the original but the remake blew me out of the coal mine!
• 6. Dawn of the Dead; This will be the last of the remakes on my list and it proves that the last ten years of movies sucked on originality. This is the movie that really kicked started the remake frenzy. At first, I felt like I was going to hate this movie running Zombies come on. But it works and it is scary as hell!
• 5. Freddy Vs Jason; Back in 1989 when I was an Usher they talked about making this movie. Sure it took over 10 years to be made and it was worth the wait! Ask my wife I stood up and cheered in the theater. I really hope they do not try this again let this movie be. I can watch this movie every time it is on TV.
• 4. Jeepers Creepers; Well this movie took me back in time when I first watched a monster movie. I love the Creeper he was a new face to add to a long list of Great Monsters! Sure part 2 was not very good but I hope that does not stop them from making more!
• 3. Behind the Mask the rise and fall of Leslie Vernon; What a breath of fresh air to the Horror scene. This is a well-written movie. I did not see it coming at the end and yet I loved it. If you have not seen this movie you really owe it to yourself to give it a look.
• 2. Bubba Ho-Tep; I drove an hour just to see this movie and I'm glad I did. You know you have seen it and if it is not part of your top 10 list then shame on you!
• 1. Shaun Of the Dead; Need I say More.

So there you go love it or leave it! Happy New Year here is the next 10 years of crapping remakes and Saw Movies that suck!

Zombies please stay in New Zealand

The Last Of The Living

NR
Run Time (to Long) 85 minutes

Director:
Logan McMillan

Cast:
Morgan Williams
Ashleigh Southam
Robert Faith
Emily Paddon-Brown
Mark Hadlow

As the rest of humankind succumbs to a virus that turns them into flesh-eating zombies, three pals (Morgan Williams, Robert Faith and Ashleigh Southam) not only survive but thrive -- enjoying the easy pickings of a deserted landscape. All of that changes, however, when they meet a pretty girl. Now, the guys' inner heroes get a chance to emerge in this zombie comedy from New Zealand as they help the lovely young scientist in her race to find a cure.

OK, Zombie comedy's are hit and miss and this was a huge miss. When I saw the preview I got a little excited. 20 minutes into this thing
I had yet to laugh giggle or care really. This is awful the High Tension awful. I can not even tell you how it ends I could not finish it sorry. If you watch it and I'm wrong please let me know.

The last of the living cover art gets 5 bloody brains as for the movie:

                                                               .5 oz of a bloody brain

Move over, Charles Dickens—it's Christopher Moore time.

The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror By Christopher Moore.

Synopsis
Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe.
'Twas the night (okay, more like the week) before Christmas, and all through the tiny community of Pine Cove, California, people are busy buying, wrapping, packing, and generally getting into the holiday spirit. It is the hap-hap-happiest time of the year, after all.
But not everybody is feeling the joy. Little Joshua Barker is in desperate need of a holiday miracle. No, he's not on his deathbed; no, his dog hasn't run away from home. But Josh is sure that he saw Santa take a shovel to the head, and now the seven-year-old has only one prayer: Please, Santa, come back from the dead.

But hold on! There's an angel waiting in the wings. (Wings, get it?) It's none other than the Archangel Raziel come to Earth seeking a small child with a wish that needs granting. Unfortunately, our angel's not sporting the brightest halo in the bunch, and before you can say "Kris Kringle," he's botched his sacred mission and sent the residents of Pine Cove headlong into Christmas chaos, culminating in the most hilarious and horrifying holiday party the town has ever seen.

Monster Nation

In the heart of America, in the world’s most secure prison, something horrible is growing in the dark. A wave of cannibalism and fear is sweeping across the heartland, spreading carnage and infection in its wake. Captain Bannerman Clark of the National Guard has been tasked with an impossible mission: discover what is happening — and then stop it before it annihilates Los Angeles.In California, he discovers a woman trapped in a hospital overrun with violent madmen. She may hold the secret to the Epidemic but she has lost everything — even her name.David Wellington’s first novel, Monster Island, explored a world overcome by horror and the few people strong enough to survive. Now he takes us back in time to where it all began — to the day the dead began to rise.

OK so this book starts off so slow I almost did not finish it. Monster Nation takes place before Monster Island but fits in just fine. In fact, MN could stand on its own two legs. I love the detail David Wellington puts out for you, you really get transformed to his realm. The book really gets cooking towards the end and you don't want it to stop.

You finally get to her what is going on but can we stop it!! Despite the slow start, this book is still a great read. After I read this book I was looking into more of Wellington's work. He has become an author I would read. I will be checking out his book about werewolves at some point.

Monster Nation

4 Bloody Brains out of 5

FlashBack Weekend

Its that time again to talk about my favorite Horror Con Flashback Weekend. Sunday was the only day we could attend this year so Eric and I packed up the car and hit the road. Armed with our backpacks full of DVD cases and poster's we headed out early. The big thing for Sunday was to meet Freddy him self Robert England. The draw back to this you had to buy his book "Hollywood Monster" for 30 bucks and wait in line for hours just for him to sign his name and say "Next". As always England is not one to chat with his fans at all. As we waited in line his line was growing and the closer I got to the door the less I cared about him. So I skipped my book ticket and hit the dealer floor.

First things first we always do the lap and see what there is and reevaluate the funds in our pocket. Of course this year was the year of OVER PRICED CELEBRITY. The first table we hit was Tony Todd the Candyman him self, dude get over your self $30 for his crap and $25 for your own but wait! You could not have a photo with him for less then $25 bucks! Get real dude. then the girls of Ginger Snaps the only reason I cared to go, the same thing! When they start to ask for money to have their photo taken with you for get it! Eric and I walked up to some unknown chick that will be in a straight to DVD movie, she was cute so why not say hi. I'm glad that she did not charge me just for looking at her and breathing her air. $10 bucks for a photo and $25 for her ink. I feel bad because I know we both laughed out loud at her. Oops Sorry.

We did run into the coolest celeb. Tim Quills (Army of Darkness, Spiderman 1-3, My Name is Bruce) he talked to his fans and was having a great time. He also singed my DVD case and a poster as well for $10 bucks and...and a free photo to boot.

I picked up a few odds and ends but the vender's this year where pretty week. Before hitting the Charles Band Show I picked up the following movies: CockHamer, The Landlord, and Fast Zombies with Guns. Now on to the best part of the show. Charles Band Full Moon Road Show. This will be the 2nd time I have seen this but this year was really cool. He brought with him TIM THOMERSON (Trancers 1-5, Near Dark, Dollman) to do a Q&A and announce Trancers 6.

The best part FREE BEER, nothing is bad when you have a cold smooth FREE beer in your hand. Part of his show is to get some girl to show her boobs on stage for all of us geeks in the room. As always it did not happen and in a way thank god. When the show was done Charles gave the crowd a great discount. Pick up Trancers Box Set for $25 dollars (more then half off) Tim would sign it for FREE. Well I have always wanted to pick this up and I still had money in my pocket I hit the door running for this great deal. Thomerson was great he had a photo from the movie Zone Troopers (1985). this movie was just on Svengoolie over the summer. I liked it so much I was looking for it on DVD. So we talked about that for awhile. So by the end of the day only 2 cool celebrity's, money left in my pocket and a bad taste in my mouth.

When it comes down to it Flashback was a big bust this year. Week vendors no photo's with out taking my money and nothing really going on at the show on a Sunday.

The plus Tim Quills was really cool, David Crawford from Dawn of the Dead, Tim Thomerson, and Charles Band. Oh and bringing home money for the first time. Oh well maybe its time to take a year off.

Flashback Weekend 2009 only

2 Bloody Brains out of 5

Monster Island: A Zombie Novel

This is a zombie novel--a fantastic zombie novel. Most of the world has fallen to the undead, with pockets of survivors clinging to a precarious existence. At the behest of the leader of the Free Women's Republic of Somaliland, a shipload of those makes the ludicrous trip from Africa to New York in a desperate quest for medicine. New York is a wasteland, and everything depends on a small, incredibly dedicated band of teenage girls, armed to the teeth, and native guide Dekalb, formerly a UN arms inspector. Also, in NYC, there is Gary, a zombie who, completely unexpectedly, retains live human mental faculties. The questers get ringside seats for some of the apocalypse's finest moments, and no matter how prepared they thought they were, something worse awaits in the depths of New York. When zombies have already overrun everything, that's saying something. There are many layers to this zombie apocalypse, and this book just gets things rolling. Stay tuned. Regina SchroederCopyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

This book hits the ground running and never lets up, I could not put this down. If you need a zombie fix this is it the best of the best. This book was brought to me from a co-work and I'm glad he did. This is a trilogy and when I was done I needed the book to right there and then. The characters are spot on and you feel yourself getting sucked into their world.

The only drawback for me was it does get weird towards the end with mummy's and evil spirits but don't let that stop you. read it for free online or pick up the book. http://www.brokentype.com/monster/

5 Bloody Brains out of 5

Camp Fear By Carol Ellis

Ok before you say anything yes this is a tween book but who cares the title screamed buy me so I did. I picked this book up at the book sale for .25 cents.

Rachel is hired as a counselor at Camp Silverlake for the upcoming session. All counselors must meet up a week before for orientation. Things get off to a great start at first, until strange things start happening. One day, Rachel is assigned the job of the upkeep on the lobby/lodge bulletin board for the upcoming campers. She decides to put up pictures of the past years at the camp. Afterward, everyone becomes very quiet and irritated with her for no apparent reason. She soon finds out why....Seven years earlier, a camper died of an accident, and Rachel accidentally put his picture up right in the center of the board. Aside from that, unfortunate mishaps occur, such as a snake in someone's bed, etc. Even scarier, it happened to the person who has a phobia of snakes! Similar events occur, according to peoples' phobias and fears, and Rachel begins to wonder if she could also be in danger!

I found camp fear of being a quick read, a fast action packed story. The storyline, however, was a bit too predictable and the ending wasn't satisfying. In fact, it just ended. But don't let that slow you down. This book will stay on my shelve to read again at another time.

Camp Fear

                                       3.5 Bloody Brains Out of 5

King Bong Boy I'm a Sucker

Evil Bong 2 King Bong
2009 | Color | 1hr 20 min | Horror | R | Full Moon Features

Director: Charles Band

Writers: 

Charles Band 

Domonic Muir

Stars: 

Brett Chukerman

Sonny Carl Davis

 Mitch Eakins

Other features: Color; interactive menus; scene access; behind-the-scenes featurette; Stan Lee interview by William Shatner.

Description

Larnell (John Jordan), Luanne (Robin Sydney) and those crazy dudes from EVIL BONG are back for a bigger hit! Suffering from bizarre side-effects caused by smoking weed from the Evil Bong, they travel to South America in search of a cure. Deep in the jungle, they encounter the deadly KING BONG and are soon locked in a trippy - and hilarious - battle with their old nemesis Eebee and the dangerously sexy Poontang Tribe! If you enjoyed "Evil Bong", then you must have been really high! And you'll especially love "King Bong", loaded with gore, weed, and beautiful women making it the ultimate stoner-horror comedy!

It amazes me to this day that Full Moon makes sequels that are better than the first one. Now I'm one of those that liked the first Evil Bong, so when the second helping came around I was more than happy to slop it on my plate. The movie is a much more polished than its little sister and looks really good. The cast gelled together much better this time around as well. Robin Sydney as cute as she still does not seem to get it. She has such a hard time caring about the movie she is in.

Also missing is Tommy Chong all though this is not a bad thing as we still get a fun trippy 80 minutes that is well crafted and much better acted. In Full Moon style, the gore is low making a ready for TV style movie. A few nice boobs to fill in space. If you like the first one you love the second hit on the bong much better.

                                                         

 3 Bloody Brains out of 5