Tralala Terror! The Banana Splits Movie.

The Banana Splits Movie

2019 | R | 1 Hr 29 Min | Horror | Warner Brothers

Director: Danishka Esterhazy

Writers: Jed Elinoff, Scott Thomas

Stars: Dani Kind, Steve Lund, Celina Martin

Synopsis: A boy named Harley and his family (brother Austin, mother Beth, and step-father Mitch) attends a taping of The Banana Splits TV show, which is supposed to be a fun-filled birthday for young Harley and business as usual for Rebecca, the producer of the series. But things take an unexpected turn -- and the body count quickly rises. Can Harley, his mom, and their new pals safely escape?

WWWWWWHAT a show from my childhood is coming back! So freaking cool or at least I had hoped so. I have to give Warner Brothers credit for going way outside of the box buy taking a kid's franchise from the 70s and giving them a dark side. And it works well I mean they were creepy when I was a young lad. I was just there for the Adam Ant cartoons. So give these guys a chance to go rogue and see what happens. 

 

Let's clear something up first this movie is really flat for the first forty-five minutes to an hour. My reasoning for this comes down to the dull and stiff cast. This family is so depressing you just never get attached so when the shit finally hits the fan you're not invested. Part of what makes horror fun is your invested in the cast and your pulling for them. In this one you can't wait for them to die - that sounds so bad but it's true.

 

Once the carnage begins it never slows down allowing the last thirty minutes to be brutally fun. Some kills where cleaver and based on the show where others well they are fine but the whole time we had no tension to build upon thanks to those lame families.  

 

 

For what its worth Banana Splits is a fun romp that is worth the look, last year this played on SyFy every day during the Halloween season so I'm sure they will bring it back this year. It's a good idea just takes time to develop. 

3 Bloody Brains out of 5

Shop til you drop, dead!

Chopping Mall
1986 | R | 1 Hr. 17 Min | Sci-Fi/Horror | Concorde Pictures

Director: 

Jim Wynorski

Writers: 

Jim Wynorski

Steve Mitchell

Stars: 

Kelli Maroney

Tony O'Dell

Russell Todd

Barbara Crampton

Synopsis:

A group of teenagers that work at the mall all get together for a late-night party in one of the stores. When the mall goes on lockdown before they can get out, the robot security system malfunctions and goes on a killing spree. One by one, the three bots try to rid the mall of the "intruders." The only weapons the kids can use are the supplies in other stores. Or . . . if they can make it 'til morning when the mall reopens.

To serve and protect!

Joe Bob Briggs opened up season two of his hit show The Last Drive-In Streaming on Shudder with an 80s cult classic Chopping Mall. Park Plaza Mall has just installed a state-of-the-art security system, including shutters across all exits and three high-tech robots programmed to disable and apprehend thieves! But some freak lighting storm short circuits the pannel turning this innocent bot's into killer machines. The bots were originally set to stun the thief until help arrived. 

Sadly the beautiful Karrie Emerson would only do one more movie after this.

Meanwhile, the four couples decide to have a party in a furniture store where three of them work. In true B-Movie fashion, a few of them begin to have a drink, party, and of course have sex. >Side note from one that has worked in the mall I can confirm this type of behavior did happen! Oh yes, it did happen. In fact, while working in a small theatre we would confiscate the alcohol that people snuck in but forgot to pick up after the show well, what do you think we did with it pour it down the drain? <  So how does the carnage begin? Simple its the 80s and when a girl needs a smoke she needs a smoke! But when your out you send your boyfriend to the vending machine out in the mall for a pack.

Just gaze upon that cigarette machine and all its retro glory. 

I'm going to show my age here but remember cigarette machines like this? They were a bitch to pull on that drop arm. Do you remember when you could smoke in the mall? It does not seem that long ago. I can still see those poor maintenance people sweeping up everybody butts laying around. Hey, maybe the smoking ban is why malls are doing so poorly now? Ok back to the movie, of course with our chump walking the mall and our short circuit robots on patrol the action starts to set in. 

Killbots

Would you believe the guy who brought us an enchanting mermaid from "Splash" to the man-eating sharks of "Lethal Weapon 4", to the inspirational heart light of “E.T.” made the Killer Bots? Crazy as it seems Robert Short took old electric wheelchair parts along with an escalator tread to make one of the horror Sci-fi iconic looks. And with this being a Roger Corman film the budget was low and the special effects would take up a huge chunk of that. Special Effects artist Roger George was the man behind the exploding head as well as other special effects that look pretty amazing. He also worked on may Corman pictures but also gave us effects on Terminator, Repo Man, and The Howling.  George and Short's companies have gone on to win Academy Awards for there work in other films. 

Scream Queen Barabra Crampton 

With a young cute cast its odd that only a few of them went on to do other movies. Of course, the wonderful Barbra Crampton is never afraid to take off her top. And Kelli Maroney was coming off of the hot Night of the Comet. She was cast because director Jim Wynorski had a crush on her. "I had seen Kelli in a couple of things and I wanted to date her. So, I figured the one way to make that happen was to put her in a movie," said Wynorski. And we get a quick glimpse at Rodney Eastman as a shoplifter tracked down my the non-killer bots. Eastman later went on to star in A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors and A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master.

Kelli Maroney's Crazy 80s hair is a safe place for spiders to live.

Upon its initial limited release on March 21, 1986 Killbots did poorly at the box office. However, it fared better when it was re-released as Chopping Mall. The name Chopping Mall was a suggestion of a janitor working in the mall at the time. It was back in 1986 when I first gazed upon the VHS cover I could not wait to take it home. I loved it then and I still love it now. For a low budget, Corman flick Chopping Mall's pace is very crisp and never really slows down. With great actors, and an interesting story followed by a killer soundtrack Chopping Mall is still worth the watch. Even if this time around I was watching the background more then the movie reliving my retail days. 

3 Bloody Brains out of 5

Corona Zombies!

Corona Zombies
2020 | R | 60 Minutes | Horror Comedy | Full Moon Features

Director: Charles Band

Writers:

Kent Roudebush

Silvia St. Croix

Stars: 

Cody Renee Cameron

Russell Coker

Robin Sydney

Synopsis:

Ditsy damsels in distress, toilet paper famine, inept world leaders, mass-media gone wild, a virus from Hell and hordes of ghouls hungry for human flesh combine in Full Moon’s maniacal horror-comedy hybrid CORONA ZOMBIES!

Too Soon?

Cody Renee Cameron as Barbie

Boy, you jump on Letterboxd or any other social media people that have not seen Corona Zombies are blasting the decision for the "fast turn around" or "looking to cash in" with most saying its too soon. To those people, I say sit down and relax. What Charles Band brings you is a creative satire poking fun at the pandemic. Interestingly enough it works! And it's an hour to sit on the couch and loss yourself in a wildly entertaining flick. If your a fan of MST3000 or Riff Trax this is right up your alley. 

Nailed It!

My favorite charters

What makes Corona Zombie wildly entertaining is the sharp tongue and cheek writing from Kent Roudebush and Silvia St. Croix both have had solid careers working with the Full Moon Camp, Croix worked on two to the Ginger Dead films where Roudebush has given us some true Full Moon Classics like Zombie Strippers, Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt, and many of the Evil Bong's. With the use of Hell of the Living Dead and Zombie Strippers respliced and weaved together tell the story. We are treated with their dialog dubbed over these clips. The silly one-liners like “Wuhan? But I like that rap group” or “Coronavirus? Why is everyone drinking beer?” to crazy ideas like Bat Soup starting it all. This really pieces this one together well kudos to the editors. The writers are the true all-stars here.

All By Myself?

Why only three actors? Well, we are in self-quarantine remember? This is handled well with such a small crew the bulk of the story is told through Cody Renee Cameron's character. We also get Full Moon staple Robin Sydney as the voice per phone conversations and one actor Russell Coker as a zombie looking for toilet paper. Cameron is a breath of fresh air even tho her role is very limited. And the makeup effects used to make the Zombie are fantastic. They only concern I have is why did Barbie (Cameron) wear clothes in the shower? She is not following the rules here! Her clothes need to be washed when she got back from the store but hey maybe this is her way of doing that?

Does the Novelty last?

Why is she wearing clothes in the shower?

CZ is a lot like a one night stand, it comes in hot and heavy with laughs aplenty but after 20 minutes the novelty starts to slowly wear off. You are then stuck with the bulk of the movie through cut scenes from the other movies that tend to drag on from time to time. Let's just say I have no desire to watch Hell of the Living Dead. Thankfully the jokes still happen at a frequent pace that you do not lose all hope.

Makeup Effects are on point!

 Look we all need a quick little escape from the stress of this pandemic and this short 60 minute is just enough stress relief. Yes, it pokes fun at what is going on around the world, our president and of course those pesky hoarders of toilet paper. So is it too soon well I say no! CZ is a well crafted extremely funny at times gem that will leave Full Moon Fans happy and just might find a batch of new fans as well.

Oh, that much needed Toliet Paper.

If your a fan of cheese and you all know I am Corona Zombie's might drag in the middle but still, it still comes out a fun little picture that is full of laughs during our time of need.

3 1/2 rolls of Toliet Paper out of 5

Looking for more Full Moon Content check out these titles that I recommend. 

      

Zombies Vs Strippers

Ravenwolf Towers




Killer Eye Halloween Haunt

There's Something Deadly in the Air!

Demon Wind
1990 | R | 1 Hr 36 Min | Horror | United Filmmakers


Director: Charles Philip Moore

Writer: Charles Philip Moore

Stars:

Eric Larson

Francine Lapensée

Rufus Norris

Synopsis:

Back in the distant 1931, in a secluded and weathered farmhouse, the gruesome sight of a crucified body set ablaze sends chills down the spine. But inside the house, a fierce, yet futile battle rages on, as Regina and her husband George, struggle desperately to avert a horde of nightmarish and malevolent demonic specters from entering into our dimension from an ominous dark doorway. In the present day, after the disastrous event of that horrible day, Cory, Regina's grandchild, riddled with questions and the need to investigate the mysterious death of his grandparents, assembles his trustworthy friends back to the old farm where it all began some sixty years earlier, although, not sure what to expect. However, this supernatural territory is a hostile no man's land, a fact that the team is going to pay in blood to find out.

With a budget of $500,000 and a 24-day shooting schedule, I can see why Demon Wind is gaining strength with its Cult status. This one has B movie cheese oozing all over it. This low budget flick has such power over me and I can not explain how or why. Is it good? Well, my 1990 drunk self would have yelled "hell ya" but upon sobering up I would be asking just how the hell did this even get made? The plot holes are so big Donald Trump's ego would still fit through them!

Honestly, the story really makes no sense but it is easy to see how they are banking on the Evil Dead formula to make it work.  Sprinkle in a little Fog and Children of the Corn and you have Demon Wind. And why wind you ask well I can not give you an answer. It's a word in the title I guess. Never the less this movie has some odd charm that will either keep you happy and trecking on or have you turning it off rather quickly.

One of the coolest effects would be the doorway to the burned down cabin. The Concept of once you have passed through the door your walking into another dimension. On the outside, it still looks like a burned down cabin. Once you have entered tho you can not go back.  Now I'm not sure if I should be laughing at the sound effects or not as they seemed to have used the old Hanna Barbar folly effects. You know those thuds you hear in old 60s and 70s Flintstone cartoon's yeah they really did use those! And the special effects are not bad for the budget and at times are downright creepy.

So here you go with a small amount of "wind" some gnarly special effects like pudding spewing zombie demons and yellow goo flying everywhere you get past the plot and settle in for something special. I was not expecting much just some simple fun to kill a few hours but by the ending of this truly bonkers movie, I was having a blast. I will recommend Demon Wind to my horror friends, as I really enjoyed getting on this dark ride!

3 (1/2) Bloody Brains out of 5

Budget: $500,000.

He's chillin...and killin

Jack Frost
2097 | R | 1Hr 28 Min | Horror | Frost Bite Films

Director: Michael Cooney
Writers:

Jeremy Paige

Michael Cooney
Stars: 

Scott MacDonald

Christopher Allport

Stephen Mendel

Shannon Elizabeth

Synopsis:

A serial killer is genetically mutated in a car wreck on the way to his execution. After this, he becomes a murdering snowman hell-bent on revenge for the sheriff who caught him.

Stop I know what you're going to say but listen Jack Frost is pure joy and a playful B-horror flick to get you into the Christmas spirit. And it will not try to hide the fact either. The film follows the familiar format of monsters going out and killing people in senseless (yet fun) fashion with the surviving citizens banding together to try to stop it. But not before more people die. And then a couple more after that!

Nothing is better then Jack spewing out awful pun-infused dialogue and some rather sick methods of bringing on death. For example, a boy gets decapitated by a slow-moving sled. And you know, it’s pretty damn funny. Although a boy having his head chopped off should in no way cause a chuckle it’s so over-the-top it’s hard not to. And it never lets up! 

Michael Cooney knows his budget is so low he addressed it with Fangoria "Campbell Soup's "Let it Snow" advertisement and notes that that commercial (which similarly features a living snowman character) had a budget "three times" that of the film." Furthermore, he stated that Identity, another film he wrote, had a budget of $30 million, while Jack Frost was made for "the cost of its catering budget". Yet he winks at the camera giving us something to laugh at that would otherwise be just plain bad. But in making it really, really, horribly bad, Jack Frost is at the very least entertaining. And is there anything else you could ask for from a B-movie about a serial-killing snowman?

And of course, Jack Frost is famous for giving us Shannon Elizabeth and her raped by a snowman scene. I guess the lesson of the story is that a budget of nothing limits the amount of fake snow you can produce so live with it and move on. Jack is a fantastic time waster full of belly laughs. If your celebrating Creepmas this one should top your list!

4 Bloody Brains out of 5

Don't eat yellow snow!

They're not staying down there, anymore!

C.H.U.D
1984 | R | 1 Hr 28 Min | Horror | New World Pictures

Director: Douglas Cheek

Writers: Parnell Hall (screenplay), Shepard Abbott (story)

Stars: John Heard, Daniel Stern, Christopher Curry

Synopsis:

A rash of bizarre murders in New York City seems to point to a group of grotesquely deformed vagrants living in the sewers. A courageous policeman, a photojournalist, and his girlfriend, and a nutty bum, who seems to know a lot about the creatures, band together to try and determine what the creatures are and how to stop them.

Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller was just the right amount of 80s cheese to kick off the new Last Drive-In series on Shudder staring Joe Bo Briggs. 

And all though Joe Bob shocked the fans with such a low 2-star rating I'm here to say C.H.U.D. is still a fun little 80s cult classic. Back in July of 2018 Joe Bob and Shudder broke the internet bringing back the show for what was assumed to be a 24-hour marathon one-off, hence its title, The Last Drive-In With Joe Bob Briggs. But the event proved so popular that Shudder brought him back for another marathon at Thanksgiving, Dinners of Death, and a third in December, A Very Joe Bob Christmas. But Shudder on March 29, has brought back Briggs who will host a weekly double feature of movies for Shudder on Friday nights, for which he will both introduce and interrupt films, delivering to viewers the distinctive mix of horror-themed wit and wisdom he honed on TMC’s Joe Bob’s Drive-In Theater in the ’80s and ’90s, as well as on TNT’s MonsterVision.

What's really great about The Last Drive thanks to Twitter this has proved to be communal experiences for horror fans who weren’t physically watching the movies together.

Although this Shaksperaing Actor lead movie staring Home Alone's John Heard, Daniel Stern who headed back to New York for Home Alone Two take the driver seat in this one. Sterns real-life wife Laure Mattos, is the movie's first on-screen victim. C.H.U.D. was also the first gig for Kim Greist and Jay Thomas who is seated next to a young John Goodman in the dinner scene. According to Brigg's most of the cast had Theatre background with Shaksper in the park leading the way. For me, the acting in a low budget B movie was pretty spot on leaving one to think this is why people actually like it. 

What people complain about the most is the lack of C.H.U.D.'s. The C.H.U.D.s themselves are barely there for far too long. Low budget horror and sci-fi movies try a lot of strategies to make the most of what they have, cleverly keeping the audience from realizing they aren’t seeing as much as they think they are, embracing humor and camp or being, simply put, groundbreaking and creative but for many C.H.U.D. employs none of them, opting instead to solve the problem with acting. I'm not sure I agree 100%.

I first watched C.H.U.D. back int he early heyday of VHS and have not seen it since so I was going into it very fresh and open-minded. I came out of it still wondering why so much hate for the Urban Dwellers? With a simple plot and simple monsters you still get a pretty decent '80s romp that for some can still be fun. 

''C.H.U.D.'' makes no pretension toward serious theses about government or the environment. It is meant to be light entertainment, that is in the category of horror, it still stands as a praiseworthy effort.

3 Bloody Brains out of 5

Every Town Has Its Monsters

I Am Not A Serial Killer
2016 | R | 1 hr 44 min | Drama/Thriller | IFC Midnight


Director: Billy O'Brien

Writers: Billy O'Brien, Christopher Hyde

Stars: Max Records, Christopher Lloyd, Laura Fraser

Synopsis:

In a small Midwestern town, a troubled teen with homicidal tendencies must hunt down and destroy a supernatural killer while keeping his own inner demons at bay.

If you are new to the cave or stopping by to check out my entry into the Mystery Mania Blog-a-thon hosted by Pop Culture Reverie welcome and enjoy as we talk about the most whacked out mind trip I have seen in years!

Based on the 2009 novel by Dan Wells, Billy O'Brien tests how far our sympathies can be stretched as we try to identify with amoral or mentally ill protagonists.  And the path O'Brien takes on down is intriguing, to say the least.  O'Brien being from Ireland paints a very harsh and cold look of Minnesota in the winter so elegantly. Shot on 16 millimeters (something rarely done today) his thoughtful visual plan, aligning us with a perspective seen through the eyes of our young star making the most of the drab backdrop of smokestacks, icy roads, and bare trees.

Our young star is played by Max Records and besides the cool name, his big break came from Where the Wilds Things Are. Records took home many independent awards for his role as John Wayne Cleaver our anti-hero now grown into a convincingly sour teenager. Diagnosed as a sociopath, John is obsessed with serial killers, fearing he might develop into one himself. When evidence surfaces that a real killer is operating in his town, John launches an investigation of his own. One obvious suspect is his creepy neighbor Mr. Crowley, played very effectively by Christopher Lloyd, whose rasp and shambling movements establish him as a figure of menace even from afar.

Loyd and Records are pure magic together weaving there stories together twisting and turning every other minute and you just don't know what it is your watching. Without giving too much away your never sure if you're watching a very uncomfortable teen comedy, an odd drama, or something straight out of the twilight zone.  The one thing I can say is this one grabs you in the gut while building up so much tension that you can feel every squeeze as it gets tighter and tighter. Even if your not sure what the hell is going on you can not look away and it is amazing!

This movie has it all a great cast, and off the rail storyline, and the look and feel that brings you right into a small town. The only downfall is this one is a slow burn, in fact, its a toss it into a crockpot it's going to be a while slow burn.  But yet you walk away full and satisfied with the payoff. 

Independent cinema always brings out the best in people and I Am Not a Serial Killer was a perfect blend for Christopher Loyd. Loyd alone is worth the price of admistion. Streaming now on Hulu this is a well painted grim story that a nice twist at the end.  

I Am Not a Serial Killer is a much see.

4 Bloody Brains out of 5

Now make sure to click the banner below and check out the other bloggers taking part in the Blogathon. 

Burn, Witch, Burn 1962

Burn Witch Burn
1962 | NR | 1 Hr 30 Min | Horror | Independent Artist

Director: Sidney Hayers

Writers:

Fritz Leiber Jr. (novel) 

Charles Beaumont (screenplay)

Richard Matheson (Screenplay)

Stars: 

Peter Wyngarde

Janet Blair

Margaret Johnston

Synopsis:

A skeptical college professor discovers that his wife has been practicing magic for years. Like the learned, rational fellow he is, he forces her to destroy all her magical charms and protective devices, and stop that foolishness. He isn't put off by her insistence that his professional rivals are working magic against him, and her protections are necessary to his career and life.

This post is part of The Richard Matheson Blogathon! so make sure to check out the other's, and if this is your first time to the cave welcome!

Norman Taylor (Wyngarde) is a psychology professor lecturing about belief systems and superstition. One day he discovers that his wife is practicing witchcraft. She insists that her charms have been responsible for his rapid advancement in his academic career and for his general well-being. Upon this discovery, He forces her to burn all of her magical paraphernalia and that's when all hell breaks loose. But sadly for me the movie never really finds its legs never really drawing the tension it was trying to conceive. 

The good news for its writer Matheson, he will go on to write some B-movie classics like Jaws 3-D, The Omega Man, and Trilogy of Terror. The one bright spot for me has to be Wyngarde with his smooth looks and fine acting as he takes the wheel and drives this one home. The rest of the cast was just ok nothing overly special. 

The look and feel of Burn, Witch, Burn, has its appeal and works with the story trying to make it more dramatic. Nothing outstanding about the score as well leaving you with a slow burn or maybe even a simmer that never really comes to a boil. 

Witch stories are some of my favorites but this one just did not grab me. With a rather dull cast to go with a pretty tame story Burn, Witch, Burn, falls short for me in a big way, and it is sad as this one is coined as one of the best British horror movies of the 60s'. 

2 Bloody Brains out of 5