Oh Hell No!!

Avengers Grimm

Avengers Grimm
2015 | Color | 86 Min. | 1.78.1 | NR | Fantasy | Dolby Digital | The Asylum

Director:

Jeremy M. Inman

Writer:

Jeremy M. Inman

Stars:

Casper Van Dien

Lauren Parkinson

Lou Ferrigno

Milynn Sarley

Marah Fairclough

Rileah Vanderbilt

When Rumpelstiltskin destroys the Magic Mirror and escapes to the modern world, the four princesses of "Once Upon a Time"-Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, and Rapunzel are sucked through the portal too. Well-trained and endowed with magical powers, the four women must fight Rumpelstiltskin and his army of thralls before he enslaves everyone on Earth.

Every once and awhile Asylum seems to do the "Mock-Buster" pretty well. And by the looks of the trailer this seems to be above average for them. Plus what is hotter than fairy tale princess kicking ass? So I'm not going to lie I plan on watching this movie. If anything it will tie me over until Sharknado 3 comes out.

2012 Golden Cob Winners

In Franklin, Indiana fans of the misunderstood genre the B movie they celebrate these classics. The Golden Cob has been going on for 5 years. This year's list is a fantastic one. Congratulations to Bill Oberst Jr. for Best rising star. I could not agree more. In fact I believe I said the same thing in my AB Vs Zombies review.

It was also a pleasant surprise to see "Rare Exports" and "Super Shark" on the list. Looks like I need to dig around for Hanna and maybe sit through "Attack the Block".  Of course a big congrats  to Mr.Lobo on his Horror Host award.

For more about the Festival and Celebration check out the site The B Movie Celebration.

THE 2012 GOLDEN COB AWARDS WINNERS
THE WINNERS
Best Actress
Saoirse Ronan
Hanna

Best Actor
John Boyega
Attack The Block

Best Rising B Actress
Sarah Lieving
Super Shark,

Best Rising B Movie Actor
Bill Oberst Jr.
A Haunting in Salem

Best B Movie Director
Joe Cornish
Attack The Block

Best Efx In A B Movie
Daniel Chavez/hy*drau”lx
Take Shelter

Best Cinematography in a B Movie
Mika Orasma
Rare Exports

Best Original Screenplay
Seth Lochhead
David Farr
Hanna

Best Editing in A B Movie
Tony Randel
Camel Spiders

Best B Movie Adapatation-
Thomas Donnelly
Joshua Oppenheimer
Tiziano Scalvi
Dylan Dog: Dead of Night

Best B Movie Release
Attack The Block

Best B Movie Documentary
Alex Stapleton
Corman’s World: Exploits of a Hollywood Rebel

Best B Movie Soundtrack
Chris Ridenhour
Dragon Crusaders

Best Sound Design In A B Movie
Patrick Giraudi
Camel Spiders

Lifetime Achievement Award
Brian Trenchard-Smith

Bill Cothron Best Emerging Filmmaker Award
Christopher Douglas Olen Ray

Movie Hall of Fame

Grizzly 

Directed by William Girdler

Bob Wilkins Best Horror Host Award
Mr.Lobo

Wow fixed the type-o's 7/24 sorry. 

Lincoln The Bad Ass

Abraham Lincoln Vs Zombies 
2012 | Color | 96 Minutes | 1.78:1 | R | Horror | Dolby Digital | Asylum

Director:

Richard Schenkman (the Man From Earth)

Writers: Karl T. Hirsch

Stars:

Bill Oberst Jr., (Nude Nuns With Big Guns)

Kent Igleheart

Rhianna Van Helton| 

Ron Ogden

As Abraham Lincoln labors over the Gettysburg address, the importance of which he is fully aware, he learns that a menace from his past has returned, threatening to tear the already fractured nation to pieces. He must journey behind enemy lines to face a foe far more fearsome than the Confederate army: the walking dead.

OK, I'm  just going to say it! From beginning  to end this is a fantastic movie! Not what I was expecting at all. This movie has more going for it than not. The story was strong the directing was good and the acting was brilliant (more on that in a minute).

Now this movie does have some weak spots but for a low budget if you relax and get wrapped into this movie it does not matter. So on to  the weak, it is only a few things of course for a gore fest way to much CG blood. This is the broken record when it comes to Asylum. I was having trouble getting past some of this. At first, it was fine but it tainted the movie at times. Second the scenery felt out of place at times and to clean for a war zone but again easy to get best thanks to Karl Hirsch's writing. And last of the bad I swear it was the same 15 zombies over and over again. Sure I get it you need to save money someplace but change the clothes or the makeup so we die hard fans don't get too upset.  

Now on to the good. This IS the strongest cast I have seen in an Asylum film ever! This is also one of  the strongest plots for this mockbuster! And they are not shy when it comes to spinning a big blockbuster and making it their own. This time, it truly worked. After watching Abe smack down some zombies I became a big fan of  Robert Ogden who played Robert Chamberlain. Between Ogden and Bill Oberst Jr. they made you forget about the bad CG and lame battlefield.

Living in the Land Of Lincoln I'm glad Bill Oberst Jr. represents  all that is well with honest Abe. Talk abut hitting the jackpot. Asylum had the right man for the role. He had the look the voice and the zombie killing mojo that made this movie enjoyable.

Abe's weapon of choice was fun and the way he whipped it out of his coat genius. And Abe's wit in this movie was top notch  even better than the time our 16th president helped the Star Ship Enterprise
on the planet Excalbia!

And before you complain about sleeping zombies just look at it this way before the nuclear fallout of today olden day Zombies needed there rest. Get over it! The ending of this movie was truly a high point. I'm not one for spoilers so I will not give anything away other than to say it was well done.

This is not the greatest movie ever but if you are looking for a time killer on a rainy day you owe it to yourself to see it. On the bright side if you see this you will soon be able to say I remember Bill Oberst Jr. when he was doing low budget films. Yes, he is the next big thing! And he should be on the top of the list for best portrayal our 16th President.

This movie does a good job kicking Zombie Butt! 4 yes 4 bloody brains out of 5 it is a good time!

4 Bloody Brains out of 5

Bonus Features on the Disc A fun little Making Of Featurette.


Holy Crap the world is coming to an end that's 2 Asylum films that did better than 2 bloody brains.

1 Body, 2 Heads and 6,000 Teeth.

2 Headed Shark Attack (2012)
2012 | Color | 88 Minutes | 1.37:1 | R | Horror | Dolby Digital | Asylum Pictures 

Director: Christopher Ray

Writers: Edward DeRuiter


Stars:
Carmen Electra
Charlie O'Connell
Brooke Hogan

Survivors escape to a deserted island after a Semester at Sea ship is sunk by a mutated two-headed shark. But when the island starts flooding, no one is safe from the double jaws of the monster.


Oh god where do I start? OK how about Carmen Electra. I can hear how this interview went now. We need a big name to just be eye candy and very little pay, all we ask is that you do a lot of sun bathing for the tweens that are going to be watching this movie. Oh and we will throw in a line or two. Later that day. Hi Chris O'Connell you were great in the fish eating movie what do you say to a two headed shark movie? Wait Chris baby we can't pay that... What's your brother up to?


This movie always looked like fun for me and after watching Cleve Hall in the TV show Monster Man it became a must see. I can say about Hall is thank goodness he changed the design from the original, one head stacked on top of the other to the side-by-side head.


And I agree with Hall CG Monsters suck! And in this case they can not swim either. The biggest draw back has to be the over use of the CG shark. Such a great idea wasted on bad and over used graphics. But lets get to the meat of the movie we watch Horror flicks for the chicks and the death scenes along with the monster.

The cast is way too well groomed for a horror flick, but you do get plenty of boobs. And for you Girl on Girl action lovers (which I'm not a fan) it's here too. The guys are ether brains or jocks your standard slasher movie fare. Then there is Brooke Hogan... yeah... she annoyed me. Heroine is not her strong suit. All in all I would give the young cast a B-.

Now lets talk for a moment about the island. If it is uncharted and abandoned then why the hell do you see beach chairs just out of focus in the background. And come on that empty beach front is so well taken care of it's really hard to believe nobody was there. Good God Asylum dirty it up a little, you're the kings of CG I'm sure you can make it look run down. If I was to rate the locations based on what they are trying to do I would have to say D.

Look a hole that we will never talk about the rest of the movie

But wait don't go all is not lost lets talk about the Shark some more. The deaths in the movie are done very well hip hip hooray! And when they use the foam heads the shark really shines. Ray does a great job of direction with camera angles and quick edits. I don't want to give too much away but the creativity in the death scenes saves this movie. No its not block buster material, but its a lazy day way to be entertained movie. If you can look past the clean cut cast and bad CG shark it's not a bad movie. The shark attacks have you looking for more. The design for the shark should be on horror T-Shirts at conventions everywhere.

Asylum you could have had a mega hit if you would have put more thought into the locations and stop trying to put a big name on the movie. Give your young cast a shot they did better than your big names. For the sake of fan boys everywhere cut out the over done CG in all of your movie's and maybe you will have a bigger fan base.

If you have nothing better to do I would have to say give this one a shot.

3 Bloody Brains out of 5

HAUNTING OF WHALEY HOUSE

HAUNTING OF WHALEY HOUSE (2012)

Who You Gonna call?

The Asylum films are at it again, this time, Amateur ghost hunting friends go on a tour of America's Most Haunted House, the witch turns into more horror than they could imagine! Hitting DVD/Blu-Ray this summer in a Widescreen presentation, 5.1 surround sound. Also included will be a Making of featurette. The film clocks in at 90 minutes.


Produced by Asylum vet David Michael Latt (Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies, American Battleship, and the SyFi classic 2 Headed Shark Attack) along with David Rimawi and Paul Bales.

The Directer and Writer Jose Paredes has also brought us Countdown: Jerusalem and The Day the Earth Stopped and Nannyland now gives us a horrifying tale about one of the most haunted houses in America.

Stephanie Greco has seen a ghost.

The Movie Stars Stephanie Greco (The Day The Earth Stopped and Nannyland). And incredibly cult icon Lynn Lowry joined the cast. I'm sure that is 50% of the budget! Lowry has been part of classics like I Drink Your Blood (1970) The Crazies (2010 & 1973) and one of my favorites from 1982 Cat People. Checkmate Asylum!  

Oil Monster.

So be sure to watch for the DVD and Blu-Ray July 31st in fine retailers everywhere.

Thier is no preview at this time so how about The Day the Earth Stopped preview to wet your whistle.