Coming to Shudder in January

 Looks like Shudder will be filling that void with much better content next month unlike Netflix, Hulu, and Disney+. So for those cold winter nights here is what is coming to Shudder.

Available January 4

Super Dark Times

Fingers

Available January 9

A Discovery of Witches

Available January 11

Before the Fire

Cub

The Pit

Celia

Available January 14

Hunted

Available January 16

A Discovery of Witches

Available January 18

And Now the Screaming Starts

Asylum

The Beast Must Die

The Flesh and the Fiends

Available January 19

The Wolf House

Available January 21

The Walking Dead: World Beyond

Available January 23

A Discovery of Witches

Available January 25

Nightbreed

Rawhead Rex

Available January 26

The Untold Story

The Woman

Available January 28

The Queen of Black Magic

Available January 30

A Discovery of Witches

The Worst Movies I watched In 2020

 Here you go my small list of the top "worst" movie's I watched in the year that is "2020"! So many disappointments this year and to be honest with you only the first 9 movies really sucked. 

Number One:

Leading the pack the snooze fest that is  Barbie & Kendra Save the Tiger King from Full Moon Features.

After narrowly escaping the contagious catastrophe of the Corona Zombies, ditsy American beauties Barbie and Kendra battle their deadliest foe yet: social distancing boredom. Hooked on binge-watching a television show about a man and his tigers on a nature channel, the two ladies hatch the perfect plan to save the Tiger King himself. From the living rooms of LA to the wilds of Africa, our dynamic duo embark on a curve-flattening journey to free Joe from a fate worse than Carole Baskin. After "Corona Zombies" being a fun time this one just felt rushed and flat. And with a running time of an hour, it was really hard to finish. 

Currently free on Tubi if you are bored and like to torture yourself.

Number Two:

I signed up to do a blog-a-thon before all of life went crazy so I never did a post about this 1974 trash heap Big Bad Mamma. In fact, it took me months to finish with the struggle being so real I had to force myself. Mama and daughters get forced by circumstances into bootlegging and bank robbing, and travel across the country trailed by the law. Starring Playboy Playmate Angie Dickinson who was nominated for "The Most Embarrassing Nude Scene in Hollywood History" for this film. 

Number Three:

Let's face it in 2020 we were all looking for that escape from the news outlets and we definitely streamed more. And what is not to love about a comedian making us laugh? We Rob Schneider really screwed the COVID pooch with this special. I honestly could not tell you if I even laughed once.

Number Four:

Oh boy, where to start? "An Almost True Story: TOXIC TUTU is an homage to the original cult-classic horror-comedy, THE TOXIC AVENGER and explains what became of the "Toxic Avenger's" Melvin the "Mop Boy", Mark Torgl." What a great idea for fans to catch up with Mark Torgl with such poor execution. I really hate saying that as this was a thank you letter from the director who was battling cancer. It was just way too hard to watch and not what I was expecting. 

Number Five:

When a street sweeper who cleans up after grisly accidents brings home a full corpse for him and his wife to enjoy sexually but is dismayed to see that his wife prefers the corpse over him. No Just No!

Number Six:

I point to the Police Academy series as the springboard that really got me watching movies again. While on self-quarantine from work in March I jumped on the wagon and watched all six of the Police Acadamy movies. Sadly it ended on a real dud! Yet it was still fun catching up with the gang from my childhood. 

Number Seven Eight and Nine:

All three low budgets flick help round out the worst of the worst. Learn from my mistakes and skip these at all costs. So far everything listed has been rated 1 1/2 stars or less. With the rest of my list scoring slightly higher.

Number Ten:

This slow-burn period piece was such a letdown. "One night in New Mexico, in the late 1950s, a switchboard operator and radio DJ discover a strange audio frequency which could change the future forever." It's a fun idea with a nice cast and yet it somehow still falls flat. 

Rounding out my list of bad movies.

I was really bummed with Jay and Silent Bob I really did not think it could be that bad. And Yes God Yes like what the hell was that! So have you seen any of these? Am I wrong with scoring them low? Let me know in the comments below and prepare yourself for my Top Ten  Top Twenty Five of 2020!

Merry Christmas

 Man COVID has been nuts, right? Well, Christmas has been a new low of crazy. I think this family easily misses all those Christmas plays and musicals the girls do. Thankfully Ella's choir teacher still tried to spread some cheer for all to hear. So enjoy the High School Virtual Choir Concert and a special message from Ella in her somewhat messy room. 

2020 The Year of The Doc

Man 2020 was a great year in movies for me, as I look back at everything I watched I was surprised by the number of Documentaries on the list. With so many good flicks let's see if I can pick one to lead the pack.


With Six Documentaries on this list, it was clear that music was still getting me through this crazy year. The Beastie Boys Story was by far the king of this crop with the Bee Gee's, Get Thrashed and ZZ Top duking it out for the next spot.

I was shocked I only watched three documentaries about horror movies this year and four about Disney! The Social Dilemma proved all along that Facebook is evil but my email to I did not know that!

Belushi is worth your time as well as The Search for Weng Weng. This could be one of the only lists as we wrap up 2020 that will not have The Tiger King closer to the top. Sure it was a fun distraction when COVID had us in a lockdown but the novelty wore off rather quickly.

Music Monday Christmas Style

How did Christmas get here so dang fast? 

Yep Christmas Dad Jokes!

 

Q. Who gives baby sharks their presents on Christmas?
A. 

Q. What kind of cars do Santa’s elves drive?
A. Toy-otas



Q. What does a gingerbread man use to keep his bed warm?
A. A cookie sheet



Q. How can you tell snowmen from snowwomen?
A. Check for snowballs.

Q. What did the first snowman says to the second snowman?
A. “I don’t know about you, but I smell carrots.”


Q. Who is Santa’s male favorite singer?
A. Elf-is Presley


Q. Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting?
A. Because they always drop their needles.

Merry Christmas you filthy animals!

Tonight On Svengoolie The Invisible Woman

 

The Invisible Woman

1940 | NR | 1 Hr 12 Min | Comedy | Universal

Director: 

A. Edward Sutherland

Writers: 

Curt Siodmak

Joe May 

Stars: 

Virginia Bruce

John Barrymore

John Howard

Synopsis:

The eccentric Professor Gibbs puts an ad in the newspaper: "WANTED: A human being willing to become invisible. No remuneration. Box P19." But Gibbs is no crackpot. He really did invent the invisibility machine, and he really does need his first human guinea pig. He's rather surprised when the K. Carroll who answers his ad turns out to be a woman: Kitty Carroll, a dress model with an oppressive boss. And that boss is the real reason she wants to be invisible. The beleaguered model wants to revenge herself on him and thus win one for the working girl. Meanwhile, the loony scientist's patron, the wealthy playboy Richard Russell, learns he has just squandered every penny of the family fortune on girls who sue. His long suffering manservant keeps threatening to resign. But if that invisibility machine works, Richard will have it made - again. Unfortunately, the machine has attracted the interest of some thugs whose boss is stuck in Mexico unable to cross the border. Invisibility is just what he needs to get past the checkpoint.

The Invisible Woman awaits you on Me-TV tonight at 8pm eastern/pacific, 7 pm central, or, if unsure of station and time in your area, please check your local listings or at www.metv.com . MeTV would love for you to live-Tweet along with the scores of Sven fans on Twitter during the show, using the hashtag #svengoolie at the end of all your posts! Chicago viewers can enjoy a second look at Return of the Vampire at 11 am on our main local channel, CW26. But who has time for that this morning It is all about...

Hail to Purple Hail To White Hail to the Northwestern!!! Go Cats, kick some Buckeye butt today.

Next On Disney+: January 2021

 The Cave has you covered with Disney+ for January. Kind of a weak line up for those cold winter nights ahead.  The good news we finally have Wanda Vision coming at the end of the month.

Friday, January 1

700 Sharks

Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hears a Who!

Great Shark Chow Down

Mega Hammerhead

Mr. Popper’s Penguins

Wolverine, The (2013)

Earth to Ned

Friday, January 8

Disney Fam Jam

Ferdinand

Star Wars Forces of Destiny: Volume 1

Star Wars Forces of Destiny: Volume 2

Star Wars Forces of Destiny: Volume 3

Star Wars Forces of Destiny: Volume 4

Toy Story That Time Forgot

Extras - Beyond the Clouds: The Anatomy of Emotion

Marvel Studios: Legends Premiere

“Marvel Studios: Legends” serves as an exciting refresher for the various heroes and villains making their way to the highly anticipated streaming shows premiering on Disney+, setting the stage for the upcoming adventures. The first two episodes will feature Wanda Maximoff and Vision.

Friday, January 15

Disney Elena of Avalor (s3)

Doctor Doolittle 3

Isle of Dogs

Mary Poppins Returns

WandaVision Premiere
“WandaVision” is a blend of classic television and the Marvel Cinematic Universe in which Wanda Maximoff (Elizabeth Olsen) and Vision (Paul Bettany)—two super-powered beings living idealized suburban lives—begin to suspect that everything is not as it seems. The new series is directed by Matt Shakman; Jac Schaeffer is the head writer.

Friday, January 22

Wild Uganda

Pixar Popcorn Premiere
Grab a quick snack of Pixar! This collection of mini shorts stars your favorite characters in all-new, bite-size stories. Created directly by Pixar animators as a quick pop of Pixar fun.

Friday, January 29

Dinosaurs (s1)

Dinosaurs (s2)

Dinosaurs (s3)

Dinosaurs (s4)

Epic

The Incredible Dr. Pol

Ramona and Beezus

Texas Storm Squad

Looks like this January will be a good month to catch up on my backlog and to continue my quest to watch all the Star Wars Movies in order. And most likely watch the last episode of The Mandalorian six more times!

Close Encounters of the Worst Kind

 

Feeders 2 Slay Bells

1998 | R | 1 Hour 12 Minutes | Horror | Polonia Brothers Entertainment

Directors: John Polonia, Mark Polonia

Writer: Mark Polonia (as Storm Anderson)

Stars: Mark Polonia, Maria Davis, Courtney Polonia

Synopsis: Aliens invade Earth over the Christmas holidays, and it's up to Santa Claus and his elves to save the world.

If you have been hanging around the cave for a few years now you know I have a soft spot for low-budget movies. As long as it has a heart I will stick around until the end good or bad. As is the case with Feeders 2 Saly Bells, clearing shot on a handheld VHS Camcorder and a cast that is entirely family or friends. With that warning how did Feeders 2 fair, well in a word, fun!

I was tipped off to this movie thanks to many who posted about it during Creepmas over the years so it is safe to say this has taken me years to track down! I finally found this on a Roku Channel for Halloween and squealed with joy. The VHS charm was just fine with me, the infamous Mark Polonia, who is undoubtedly also responsible for such contributions to society (61 movies to be exact) Camp Blood Sequels, Land Shark, and Sharkenstien! And like I said this is a family affair so brother John has gone on to do 28 movies like Blood Red Planet and Splatter Beach. Both seem to be working strong for the straight to video guru David Sterling.

So what makes Feeders 2 a worthwhile watch other than that low budget feel? First off we are treated to presents being wrapped, plenty of driving to work, and special effects that are clearly made on an Amiga computer. And while all of that is going on you just might fall in love with the Casio keyboard style soundtrack of Christmas classics! And those Aliens taking over the world...

Yep, that is them paper-mache puppets at their best! Sure they look really dumb on screen but somehow it works, it all works. It's a simple story, simplistic effects, bad acting and yet it works somehow. Most of the talent comes from behind the camera as the brothers prove they know how to tell a story. No this is not going to win over many as for me I'm glad to have tracked it down and would watch it again. IF you are looking to waste an hour while tossing back a few Bush Lights and not looking for much gore then this movie is for you!

3 Ninja Santa's out of 5

Creepmas Gifts 2020

 We all love that sparkling wrapping paper under the tree every year in hopes that it's something we have wished for. So let us help spread the Creepmas cheer this year with a few gifts you could find under your Creepmas tree.

It is 2020 after all and in many ways finding Pee and Poo under your tree would make sense right?

What two-year old's Creepmas be complete without an Animal puzzle? They might as well fit together in such a loving way.

But if your children are more into stuffed animals well there is this guy... or thing??

Or maybe this one?? I think those are real teeth FYI.

And for that child that has everything make sure to pick up this Magical Tusked Narwhal! With 3 adorable animals to impale you can sure bet this bad boy will bring hours of fun.

Ummmmm well Ummm stocking stuffer anyone?

I'm not going to lie I would buy this for my child in a heartbeat!

Judging by the look on his face this is really painful or he really likes it! 

Hey, Batman needs some love too you know! Oh, I have so many jokes but I will hold off.

Don't we all want Herpes for Creepmas? Mabe some Ecoli? Never the less I would love for one of these to show up under my tree this year. And we can not leave out the star of the show.

 COVID man I sure hope Santa is not a super spreader!

Happy Creepmas to all! And take a moment to check out a few others celebrating the festive season.