What an Institution! The Police Academy Franchise.

Yep, I did it quarantine life had me like... Hey, let's watch all of the Police Academy movies! I'm not sure why but I think it comes down to needing a laugh during these strange times. It started one-night February 22nd to be exact and came to an end April 27th so it's not like I binged them all in a few days I had to spread them out. I did cram in the last few due to the fact these leave Netflix in May. So do they still hold up after all these years? Not going to lie they do they really do. Sure every film as the same formula the same actors, for the most part, the same wittiness and that really helps make things delightful.

Now not all things are jolly throughout, for example, Bobcat Goldthwait may have been a big deal in 1985 but his humor does not translate very well today. In fact, he was really annoying when on-screen. Also, the Kung Fu running gag Michael Winslow performs every movie was old by the 2nd one and yet it played out all the way to the end.

To show my appreciation for the series here is a look at how I would rank them from the worst to the best.

The worst was easy it would be Part 7 or Mission To Moscow. In this installment, The Russian government hires the veterans of the Police Academy to help deal with the Mafia. Neither Ron Perlman nor Christopher Lee could save this depressing attempt at humor. A weak story followed with bad acting proves that there was no reason to wait five years. This is also The first American comedy movie to be filmed in Russia. Perlman considered his work on this movie "a public service", by shutting down the Police Academy movies for over two decades. Perlman said, "I'm not going to apologize. I did that piece of shit."

Now if going to Rusha was not hard enough to watch Police Academy 6 City Under Seige was an odd waste of time. I'm not 100% on this one but I feel this was made for children so maybe they were trying to bounce off of the short-lived Cartoon that was out the year before?  This time around A gang is terrorizing citizens by robbing stores in the Wilson Heights district of town. Since a leak in the department is suspected, the Governor has chosen the officers from the police academy along with Captain Harris and Lt. Proctor to catch the criminals using old fashioned police work. When Commandant Lassard is indicted, the officers must bring the gang and Mr. Big to justice to clear him.

The movie performed poorly at the US box-office, grossing less than $11 million being the first "Police Academy" movie not to place first in the US weekend box-office. (and yet they made one more ugh)

Ok, I promise from here on out things will be much more cheerful as the first five movies are a true delight. If you were to binge the series you can easily skip the last two and your life would be complete. Now as a reminder I'm no longer going to go in order as I'm ranking them in the order I liked them. With that said Police Academy 2 Their First Assignment is the weakest of the five but not in a bad way as it is still hysterical and worth watching. This time around Mahoney and friends have graduated from the Police Academy and are issued with their first assignments. As before, their cheerfulness and devotion to duty outweigh any shortcomings, but are they ready to do battle with a band graffiti daubing terrorists? Maybe it's Bobcat that did not give me the warm fuzzies this time around, the story is good and honestly, it entertains you all the way to the end just for me it was not the best of the bunch.

Both Police Academy Citizens on Patrol (1987) and Assignment Miami Beach (1988) will leave you feeling good from the beginning to the end. In fact, Assignment Miami Beach is the stronger of the two and a refreshing ride all the way to the end. For Citizens on Patrol, The misfit Police Academy graduates now are assigned to train a group of civilian volunteers to fight crime once again plaguing the streets. This one is a mixed bag as well Sharon Stone joined the cast after going through a divorce said of this difficult period in her life, "hanging out with a gang of comedians, it was the best therapy." Plus we get a young Tony Hawk and the film debut of David Spade! Sadly this will also be the last time we see "The Blue Oyster Bar".

Assignment Maimi Beach The Police Academy's commandant will be honored at a police convention in Miami Beach. At the airport, he picks the wrong bag with stolen diamonds. The "owners" want them back. This will be the first movie without its young star, Steve Guttenberg who has said he regrets turning down the last few sequels. Had Guttenberg agreed to appear in the movie, his character Mahoney was to be promoted to Lieutenant at the end of the film. And thankfully Bobcat has not returned! And Mahoney is now replaced by TV journeymen Matt McCoy who in return gives the team a nice little boost. At this point Michael Winslow (Jones), David Graf (Tackleberry), and George Gaynes (Commandant Lassard) are the only actors who appeared in all seven Police Academy movies. Winslow even goes a step beyond this, as he is the only actor to not only appear in all seven Police Academy movies but also had a regular role in Police Academy: The Series (1997).

 

Both 3 1/2 out of 5

Well, I do not mean to upset you all but here it is the grandfather of them all the one that started a franchise Police Academy from 1984. The movie I watched at a much younger age on HBO over 100 times comes in 2nd! A group of good-hearted, but incompetent misfits enter the police academy, but the instructors there are not going to put up with their pranks. This is the only " Police Academy" movie that was given an R-rating, and also the most successful of the series at the box office. This is also one of the few films to which Roger Ebert gave zero stars, ( Caligula, I Spit on Your Grave, and Death Wish II were the others.) Yet it is included among the American Film Institute's 2000 list of the 500 movies nominated for the Top 100 Funniest American Movies. Needless to say, I love this movie but...

...for me for some odd reason Police Academy 3 Back in Training (1986) was the best of the franchise. The city has two police academies, one is under the eye of Commandant Lassard and the other is under Commandant Mauser. Now Mauser has learned that the State is considering closing one of the academies, and to protect himself, he approaches Blanks and Copeland and instructs them to make sure that Lassard's cadets all foul-up. Lassard, on the other hand, calls his "favorite graduates", Mahoney, Hightower, Jones, Tackleberry, and Hooks, and along with their former instructor, Callahan, they try to train the cadets and hopefully save their academy. I'm not sure why but this one had me rolling. It was also nice to return to the Academy itself.  The Police Academy films follow one of two Narrative styles, the first style which is used in the first, third, and fourth films, features the Academy prominently with chasing the bad guys will close out the movie. Where the second style used in the second, fifth, sixth, and seventh films consists of brief uses of the Academy while the bad guys are featured throughout the film.

Well there you go I survived the Police Academy Franchise and still had a ton of fun doing it. It will be interesting to see if Steve Gutenberg can get a new Police Academy off the ground. It has been said he is working with Apple Tv "Definitely. It's coming. People will look down at the idea, but they're in the same business of making money too. The Police Academy films gave me so much opportunity, and I've got nothing but a good attitude towards them. I sure hope they do it. If the script's right - I'm definitely in. You never know, I may direct." said Gutenberg. (Source IMBD) Now if I could only get that theme song out of my head!

Long live the 80s and all those classic films I love growing up. So where does one go from here? To my wife suggestion sounds like a few Nerds are in my future!