No so funny Sunday 😥


You know I never get political but dang our president is such an ass throughout this COVID-19! I have never cringed so much in my life! And the simple fact that our press conference here in Illinois has opened up by saying do not ingest bleach or any other household cleaner is sad!! And it is sad that people from Illinois are trying such a dumb ass thing!


But the meme's are kind of funny so maybe today will not be such a Sunday Funnies but I have to share some of them!






WHAT A DUMB ASS!! Honestly, I can no longer listen to this man!






Please be safe everybody we all need each other during this! Reach out to friends you have not heard from in awhile family you only talk to during reunions and check in on your neighbors making sure they are ok as well. 



See a female colossus... her mountainous torso, skyscraper limbs, giant desires! Tonight on Svengoolie.



Attack of the 50Ft. Woman
1958 | NR | 1 Hr 5 Min | Horror | Warner Brothers

Director: 
Nathan Juran

Writer:
 Mark Hanna

Stars: 
Allison Hayes
William Hudson
Yvette Vickers



Synopsis:
Nancy Archer is a rich socialite who is unhappily married to husband Harry who left her once but came back to her when he needed money. It hasn't stopped him from continuing his affair with Honey Parker and Nancy knows it. After a confrontation at a local bar, Nancy takes off in her car and has an encounter with a large sphere on the road. There have been rumors of UFOs in the area but no one will believe her. After a second encounter, Nancy grows to an amazing size. More than enough to get her revenge.


“Attack of the 50 Foot Woman” returns on MeTV tonight at 8pm eastern/pacific, 7 pm central- if you’re unsure of the time and channel in your area, please check your local listings or at www.metv.com.  To live-Tweet during the show on Twitter, use the hashtag #svengoolie - Help Sven keep trending nationally every week!

Shop til you drop, dead!

Chopping Mall
1986 | R | 1 Hr. 17 Min | Sci-Fi/Horror | Concorde Pictures

Director: 
Jim Wynorski

Writers: 
Jim Wynorski
Steve Mitchell

Stars: 
Kelli Maroney
Tony O'Dell
Russell Todd
Barbara Crampton

Synopsis:
A group of teenagers that work at the mall all get together for a late-night party in one of the stores. When the mall goes on lockdown before they can get out, the robot security system malfunctions and goes on a killing spree. One by one, the three bots try to rid the mall of the "intruders." The only weapons the kids can use are the supplies in other stores. Or . . . if they can make it 'til morning when the mall reopens.

To serve and protect!

Joe Bob Briggs opened up season two of his hit show The Last Drive-In Streaming on Shudder with an 80s cult classic Chopping Mall. Park Plaza Mall has just installed a state-of-the-art security system, including shutters across all exits and three high-tech robots programmed to disable and apprehend thieves! But some freak lighting storm short circuits the pannel turning this innocent bot's into killer machines. The bots were originally set to stun the thief until help arrived. 

Sadly the beautiful Karrie Emerson would only do one more movie after this.

Meanwhile, the four couples decide to have a party in a furniture store where three of them work. In true B-Movie fashion, a few of them begin to have a drink, party, and of course have sex. >Side note from one that has worked in the mall I can confirm this type of behavior did happen! Oh yes, it did happen. In fact, while working in a small theatre we would confiscate the alcohol that people snuck in but forgot to pick up after the show well, what do you think we did with it pour it down the drain? <  So how does the carnage begin? Simple its the 80s and when a girl needs a smoke she needs a smoke! But when your out you send your boyfriend to the vending machine out in the mall for a pack.

Just gaze upon that cigarette machine and all its retro glory. 

I'm going to show my age here but remember cigarette machines like this? They were a bitch to pull on that drop arm. Do you remember when you could smoke in the mall? It does not seem that long ago. I can still see those poor maintenance people sweeping up everybody butts laying around. Hey, maybe the smoking ban is why malls are doing so poorly now? Ok back to the movie, of course with our chump walking the mall and our short circuit robots on patrol the action starts to set in. 

Killbots

Would you believe the guy who brought us an enchanting mermaid from "Splash" to the man-eating sharks of "Lethal Weapon 4", to the inspirational heart light of “E.T.” made the Killer Bots? Crazy as it seems Robert Short took old electric wheelchair parts along with an escalator tread to make one of the horror Sci-fi iconic looks. And with this being a Roger Corman film the budget was low and the special effects would take up a huge chunk of that. Special Effects artist Roger George was the man behind the exploding head as well as other special effects that look pretty amazing. He also worked on may Corman pictures but also gave us effects on Terminator, Repo Man, and The Howling.  George and Short's companies have gone on to win Academy Awards for there work in other films. 

Scream Queen Barabra Crampton 

With a young cute cast its odd that only a few of them went on to do other movies. Of course, the wonderful Barbra Crampton is never afraid to take off her top. And Kelli Maroney was coming off of the hot Night of the Comet. She was cast because director Jim Wynorski had a crush on her. "I had seen Kelli in a couple of things and I wanted to date her. So, I figured the one way to make that happen was to put her in a movie," said Wynorski. And we get a quick glimpse at Rodney Eastman as a shoplifter tracked down my the non-killer bots. Eastman later went on to star in A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors and A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master.

Kelli Maroney's Crazy 80s hair is a safe place for spiders to live.

Upon its initial limited release on March 21, 1986 Killbots did poorly at the box office. However, it fared better when it was re-released as Chopping Mall. The name Chopping Mall was a suggestion of a janitor working in the mall at the time. It was back in 1986 when I first gazed upon the VHS cover I could not wait to take it home. I loved it then and I still love it now. For a low budget, Corman flick Chopping Mall's pace is very crisp and never really slows down. With great actors, and an interesting story followed by a killer soundtrack Chopping Mall is still worth the watch. Even if this time around I was watching the background more then the movie reliving my retail days. 

3 Bloody Brains out of 5



*Gulp* Hospital Visit


Had to take Ella to the hospital in Peoria, Il yesterday it was quite the experience. First, both of us were on edge going into a dang hospital with all of this going on! Then somehow we missed getting our temperature taken when we walked in so we got yelled at for that and had to go back. Maybe if the nurse was standing at her post-life would have been easier. Then to sit in a quiet waiting room was so odd. They must be limiting how many appointments they do in a day. All is well with Ella she needs to watch her Blood Sugars during this time of anxiety. The more nervous she gets the more insulin she is burning. They did give her (If you can call it) good news the death rate in type one is extremely low! My asthma is a much higher risk yay me. I'm at such a crossroad I can stay home paid for another few weeks or go back to work. Part of me wants to stay home but a big part of me misses my team but breathing through this mask is tuff. I guess time will tell I have to let them know by Friday.

I hope you guys are keeping safe.





Look out, she'll get you!


Dracula's Daughter
1936 | NR | 1 Hr 11 Min | Horror  | Universal

Director:
Lambert Hillyer

Writers: 
Garrett Fort 
Bram Stoker

Stars: 
Otto Kruger
Gloria Holden
Marguerite Churchill



Synopsis:
Professor Von Helsing has done the world a favor by driving a stake through the heart of Count Dracula and thus destroying him. For his trouble, Scotland Yard charges him with murder. Dr. Jeffrey Garth, a psychiatrist, may be able to act as an attorney and defend him in court. But Garth finds he has his own troubles when the Countess Marya Zaleska seeks his help. She wants to be released from her desire to drink the blood of the living. She steals the corpse of her father, Count Dracula, and burns it ritually; but she still wants blood. She'll do anything to free herself of this curse, including kidnapping the baron's daughter who is Dr. Garth's assistant and thwarting the hopes of her sinister manservant, Sandor.



Meet “Dracula’s Daughter” tonight on MeTV at 8 pm eastern/pacific, 7 central, or check your local listings (or www.metv.com) for time and channel where you can watch in your area. In the Chicago area, our viewers get an encore of “This Island Earth” -which again brought us record-breaking viewership on METV last week- at 11 am on the U! Plus some new segments featuring visits with the stars of the original “Candyman” film- the lovely Virginia Madsen and Tony Todd-plus another fun talk with one of our old friends- Tom Atkins of ‘Halloween 3”-not mention a brand new song about the movie!

Disney Family Singalong


So how many of you tuned into The Disney Family Singalong last night? One of the best things to come out this COVID-19 stay at home fun has to be how performers have done there best to have fun with all of us. And Disney has been fantastic throughout all of this. The Disney Family Singalong features many celebrities performing Disney classics from their homes, including Donny Osmond. Some of the performances were downright perfect.

This special was something happy to look forward to for kids and adults alike during the coronavirus outbreak. As celebrities sing Disney songs, an animated character guides us through the on-screen lyrics, so you can sing along with your family!

Sadly Donny was our favorite part and his video was not uploaded to YouTube. I found it fascinating that Twitter blew up with so many people who forgot he was the singing voice of Shang in Mulan. He is such a treat! So the question for you who was your favorite if you tuned in? 




The weapons of the future are alive...

Crash And Burn
1990 | R | 1 Hr. 25 Min | Sci-Fi | Full Moon Features

Director: 
Charles Band

Writer: 
J.S. Cardone

Stars: 
Paul Ganus
Megan Ward
Ralph Waite



Synopsis:
Unicom is a powerful organization overseeing most of the world after its economic collapse. They have banned computers and robots in an attempt to ensure "life, liberty, and the pursuit of economic stability". When a Unicom Synth robot infiltrates a southwest TV station and kills the manager, a revolutionary against the Gestapo-like corporation, a lowly Unicom delivery man must help the rest of the station survive through the incoming "thermal storm".


The Bait and Switch

Ok, Uncle Charlie, I see what you're doing here! Crash And Burn is capitalizing on the Stuart Gorden cult classic Robot Jox that came out the year before. What's the catch you ask? Well, you have this giant robot on the poster in the same fashion as Robot Jox. Spoiler alert this one has nothing to do with Robots! Well ok, the last few minutes we are treated to David Allen's stop motion bot that is on the poster. Yet we do get a simple little tale that in the end works. For the small budget, this one has a tight story and that is what counts. J.S. Cardone has penned plenty of Full Moon Features but it would be his retelling of Prom Night (2008) and Stepfather (2009) that he will be remembered for. 


Mr. Walton? 



That's right Ralph White headlines a pretty solid cast along with Megan Ward's first movie and by far the best charter goes to Bill Mosely. Let's go back to Ward first, of courses she will go on to do many B movies including Arcade, Encino Man, and one of my favorite hidden gems PCU. She hit's her role like a veteran as the story revolves around her character. Delivering a top performance you can easily see how her parents were a big influence on her career. Her parents were drama teachers and cast her in plays they produced. When she was 9, her mother's job at a modeling agency led to her doing commercials for local department stores. I have always enjoyed watching her in almost any role she has been in (Sorry General Hosptial not you). 


The true hero tho happens to be one of the bad guys, Bill Moseley once again finds himself playing the sadistic yet dark comedic villain. Moseley is strong in this one with his smirky slimy character that saves this movie.  He gives it just the right amount of grit! 


The one thing the movie does well it visually draws you into a dark, grim world that we have destroyed. The desolate feeling comes through as they run around this old factory that is just as dank as the outside world. You do get a Blade Runner vibe on a much lower scale. 


One downfall or shortcut that was taken lies in the futuristic look that they try to produce. I had a hard time thinking a robot was still running on an Amiga 128 and 3" floppy disks. This is tech that was old when they were making this movie. I get that maybe this is what she put together from old scrap to make the TV station work, to run the a/c that keeps them alive but to run a robot? Eh, I was not buying that at all.


Finally, in the end, we get to see the Robot in action. David Allen's (Ghostbusters 2, Puppet Master) special effects work well here. It's kind of sad they did not do more with his talent on Crash and Burn. Special effects and a tight story teamed up with Bill Moseley are enough for you to tune into Crash And Burn. Somehow everything comes together with a late-night cable vibe that keeps you engaged. This might not be the greatest movie I'm going to watch during the COVID sit in but it was not the worst either.  

3 out of 5 Stars


Still Here In Quarantine Mode

So how is everybody holding up? Going into my second week away from work and doing ok, I miss working but enjoying the time with family. I managed to put together a few more videos this week. Remember you can always follow my YouTube channel.




First up with this wonderful lock down our town thrown together a drive through Easter Bunny and Friends event. I have to say it was pretty cool and even tho my kids might be a tad old but we needed to get out of the house, you know?  So sit back relax and join us, shall you? And keep your windows rolled up for the safety of yourself and others.





Of course, Easter had a different look this year, and while we stay in we still find ways to get out safely. For example on Saturday we where egged. Yep, some of our friends came by snuck around the house and hide eggs. So we paid it forward hitting a few of our friends. You'll find that as part of this week's Coronavirus video. Enjoy...


Ok, and as a bonus, I found some old video of the girls doing a fashion show in 2010! So for fun, I tossed it together and you know if you would like the video is here for you. 



Hang in there everybody! The light seems to be at the end of the tunnel and fingers crossed it's almost in view!




The Biggest Laff-Lifter of the Year!

The Strongest Man In The World
1975 | G | 1HR 32 Min | Family | Disney

Director:
Vincent McEveety

Writers:
Joseph L. McEveety
Herman Groves

Stars: 
Kurt Russell
Joe Flynn
Eve Arden



Synopsis:
A school laboratory accident mixes one student's vitamin cereal mix with Dexter Riley's chemical experiment. When the kids decide to dispose of the mess to their neighbor's cow, they learn that the cereal gave the cow the super-strength to give a massively vast supply of milk. When they try it out on themselves, they discover that the stuff gives any human superhuman strength for a few minutes. The school sees this as the thing needed to save their school from closure, as the Dean makes a deal with his relative who owns the company that makes the cereal for financial support, unaware that it was Dexter's chemical which was solely responsible for the strength. When her competitor learns of this deal, he hires two criminals to stop it.


One of the first things I could not wait to do when signing up for Disney+ was watching childhood classics again. All of us that grew up on those classic's remember how heartwarming they were and in many ways simplistic fun. Now for me, many of those Disney movies would include stars Jodie Foster, Kurt Russell and of course Fess Parker. I would say I'm pretty passionate about this project and have spent a bulk of my time watching many of the short cartoons first so today was time to jump into the real fantasy world. Not ready to dive into the Jodie Foster end of things yet I grabbed a Kurt Russell vehicle instead. First to note I forgot that this was part of the Dexter series so lucky me I went out of order. Strongest Man is part three of this collage-based trilogy. 


The Worlds Strongest Man will sadly be the last film for a few legends. Raymond Bailey yep (Milburn Drysdale) and Roy Roberts (John Cushing) both of  Beverly Hillbillies fame give us one last performance before retirement. After an impressive 194 tiles under his belt, William Bakewell hung up his SAG card. Sadly this will be the last on-screen appearance for the beloved Joe Flynn. Best known as the co-star of many Disney films in the 1960s and '70s he was found dead lying at the bottom of his swimming pool, weighted down by the cast on his broken leg, having suffered a heart attack while in the pool. Sadly he was only 49. His last picture would be the 1977 animation hit The Rescuers.

Wow, that took a dip sorry! Let's talk about one more cast member, shall we? When Eve Arden come on my kids perked up strolling into the living room knowing her voice. It may have taken a few minutes but they got it the famous (in our house) voice of Principal McGee in the 1978 masterpiece Grease (the most-watched movie in this house) her husky voice is legendary. Dick Van Patten another Disney staple plays the bad guy and plays him well. So with such a great cast why would Kurt Russell still get top billing? Even if the whole 2nd act and most of the 3rd act is lined with the cast mentioned above. 


The first act fly's by rather quickly with Russell and his gang in a very clean looking collage. In fact, their house is immaculate. Not the kind of college hangout you would see in say Animal House. And the cast is starting to look a little old for their parts yet there looks do not take you out of the movie. In the second act, the meat that goes with those potatoes comes with comedic relief as Flynn comes up with a plan to save his job and the school by selling this newfound experiment to a cereal company. Unffortanty this is when the movie starts to drag us down and almost crashes to a complete halt. Thankfully we head to the finish line of the big contest of what team can lift more weight the state champs or our dweeby scientists. 




With the dweebs losing badly, thank goodness for Dexter (Russell) as he uses the last of his super-strength serum to lift the 1,111-pound weight to win it for Crumply Crunch Cereal Company and Medfield Collage. Hurray Higgins and Quigley get to keep their jobs! And that my friends would be the final chapter on the Dexter trilogy



Even tho I watched The Strongest Man In The World for purely nostalgic reasons it falls just a tad short of worthwhile. Maybe I'm wrong and just being a little harsh but I feel like the dip from the second half brings the mood way down. I was so close to fast-forwarding just to find Kurt once again. It's a cute 70s Disney story that does not veer far from the Magic Formula of most Disney Classic's but falls just short of memorable. 


2 Stars out of 5


Corona Zombies!

Corona Zombies
2020 | R | 60 Minutes | Horror Comedy | Full Moon Features

Director: Charles Band

Writers:
Kent Roudebush
Silvia St. Croix

Stars: 
Cody Renee Cameron
Russell Coker
Robin Sydney



Synopsis:
Ditsy damsels in distress, toilet paper famine, inept world leaders, mass-media gone wild, a virus from Hell and hordes of ghouls hungry for human flesh combine in Full Moon’s maniacal horror-comedy hybrid CORONA ZOMBIES!

Too Soon?

Corona Zombies
Cody Renee Cameron as Barbie

Boy, you jump on Letterboxd or any other social media people that have not seen Corona Zombies are blasting the decision for the "fast turn around" or "looking to cash in" with most saying its too soon. To those people, I say sit down and relax. What Charles Band brings you is a creative satire poking fun at the pandemic. Interestingly enough it works! And it's an hour to sit on the couch and loss yourself in a wildly entertaining flick. If your a fan of MST3000 or Riff Trax this is right up your alley. 

Nailed It!

Corona Zombies
My favorite charters

What makes Corona Zombie wildly entertaining is the sharp tongue and cheek writing from Kent Roudebush and Silvia St. Croix both have had solid careers working with the Full Moon Camp, Croix worked on two to the Ginger Dead films where Roudebush has given us some true Full Moon Classics like Zombie Strippers, Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt, and many of the Evil Bong's. With the use of Hell of the Living Dead and Zombie Strippers respliced and weaved together tell the story. We are treated with their dialog dubbed over these clips. The silly one-liners like “Wuhan? But I like that rap group” or “Coronavirus? Why is everyone drinking beer?” to crazy ideas like Bat Soup starting it all. This really pieces this one together well kudos to the editors. The writers are the true all-stars here.

All By Myself?

Corona Zombies

Why only three actors? Well, we are in self-quarantine remember? This is handled well with such a small crew the bulk of the story is told through Cody Renee Cameron's character. We also get Full Moon staple Robin Sydney as the voice per phone conversations and one actor Russell Coker as a zombie looking for toilet paper. Cameron is a breath of fresh air even tho her role is very limited. And the makeup effects used to make the Zombie are fantastic. They only concern I have is why did Barbie (Cameron) wear clothes in the shower? She is not following the rules here! Her clothes need to be washed when she got back from the store but hey maybe this is her way of doing that?

Does the Novelty last?

Cody Renee Cameron
Why is she wearing clothes in the shower?

CZ is a lot like a one night stand, it comes in hot and heavy with laughs aplenty but after 20 minutes the novelty starts to slowly wear off. You are then stuck with the bulk of the movie through cut scenes from the other movies that tend to drag on from time to time. Let's just say I have no desire to watch Hell of the Living Dead. Thankfully the jokes still happen at a frequent pace that you do not lose all hope.


Russell Coker
Makeup Effects are on point!

 Look we all need a quick little escape from the stress of this pandemic and this short 60 minute is just enough stress relief. Yes, it pokes fun at what is going on around the world, our president and of course those pesky hoarders of toilet paper. So is it too soon well I say no! CZ is a well crafted extremely funny at times gem that will leave Full Moon Fans happy and just might find a batch of new fans as well.


Cody Renee Cameron
Oh, that much needed Toliet Paper.

If your a fan of cheese and you all know I am Corona Zombie's might drag in the middle but still, it still comes out a fun little picture that is full of laughs during our time of need.


3 1/2 rolls of Toliet Paper out of 5


Looking for more Full Moon Content check out these titles that I recommend. 

      



Music Monday

Hi, all sure hope you had a nice Easter weekend. Let us take a look at what happened in music on April 13th.


Ah musicals, you know they are a big thing in this house so why not start with the Musical "Grease" closing at Broadhurst Theater NYC after 3,388 performances in 1980. I could not find any video's from that far back sorry. Grease was first performed in 1971 in the original Kingston Mines nightclub in Chicago (since demolished). From there, it has been successful on both stage and screen, but the content has been diluted and its teenage characters have become less Chicago habitués and more generic. At the time that it closed in 1980, Grease's 3,388-performance run was the longest yet in Broadway history, although it was surpassed by A Chorus Line on September 29, 1983. It went on to become a West End hit, a successful feature film, two popular Broadway revivals in 1994 and 2007, and a staple of regional theatre, community theatre, and high school and middle school drama groups. It remains Broadway's 16th longest-running show.



Famous Illinionin Howard Keel was born in 1917 in Gillespie, Il in Southern Illinois. Keel was the Errol Flynn of the "golden age" of movie musicals back in the 1950s. His body of work includes "Camelot," "South Pacific", "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers", "Man of La Mancha", and "Show Boat". But most of us know him best when he replaced Jim Davis as the upstanding family patriarch of the nighttime soap drama Dallas (1978) after Davis' untimely death. Keel passed away at the age of 85 in 2004.



And on this day in 2013 Chi Cheng, the bassist for the Deftones died at the age of 42. Cheng had been involved in a car accident in 2008, which left him in a coma for some time. Although he eventually began showing signs of improvement, he was never able to make a full recovery. Cheng’s bass playing can be heard on such early Deftones classics as 1995’s Adrenaline, 1997’s Around the Fur, and 2000’s White Pony. Additionally, Cheng issued a spoken word release in 2000, The Bamboo Parachute.


Well, that's it pretty slow day in music. A ton of music news for next week so stay tuned!

Peace