What The Hell did I just watch!

Frankenstein
1992 | Color | 172 Min. | 1.33.1 | PG | Horror | Hi-Fi Stereo | Turner Home Entertainment

Source: VHS

Director: David Wickes

Writer: David Wickes

Stars:

Patrick Bergin

Randy Quaid

John Mills

Dr. Victor Frankenstein creates his creature, who escapes into the countryside to find that humanity has only pain and sorrow for him. But a psychic link between created and creator draws the two ever nearer until their paths must inevitably cross again...

Man this is bad make-up

So just like the good old days of going to the video store and finding what looks like a cool little horror flick. When I picked up this Frankenstein I had no clue what it was. But the cover art was cool and the Frankenstones cartoon intrigued me. I should have read the Randy Quaid as the monster part before parting ways with my quarter to the thrift store cash register.

First things first. When you pop this bad boy in you are treated with a good 10-minute cartoon starring the lovable Flintstones and there very familiar looking neighbours the Frankenstones. 

Both are dad's coaching a baseball team. Both teams make the playoffs and have to play each other. That's when the mayhem gets going. The cartoon was worth the .25 cents so not all is lost on this movie.

First this movie was part of TNT's Monster Vision that ran in the early 90's and was hosted by Penn and Teller. So it's no wonder that I have never heard of this. Who the hell would think of Penn and Teller as Horror Host!?

The movie opens with a shot taking place in the North Pole and things are looking good. But after Victor Frankenstein gets shot at by pirates they take him in and listen to his story. And that is when this movie gets dumb as time goes on. In fact it was so bad I fast-forward a few times and got up to go to the bathroom without pausing. 

Everything is bad about this movie it is the biggest snoozefest of all time. And I watch some cheap low budget dung and they are better than this was.

The acting was terrible and flat in so many ways. The set pieces felt stale and the musical score was down right miserable. And Frankenstein's make up was a pale version of the Swamp Thing and I could not get past that. But I wanted to stick to it and hope for the best. This movie is said to be much closer to the book than most of the movies that have been made already.

There was a nice little part in the second act when the monster is helped by the blind man, but that is it. The last 10 minutes was good

as well again it took place at the North Pole so it was something different for me. There was some gore in this movie but nothing too out of control so I would say its pretty safe for a family movie night. But god rest your soul if you can sit through this pile of crap!

I don't hate many movies but I would rather blow my brains out than watch this ever again. I will hold on to it until Halloween just to watch the cartoon one more time before I get rid of this tape!

The biggest Turd I have ever watched!

1 bloody brain out of 5