Wednesday, January 27, 2010

"Don't go into the light!"

Zelda Rubinstein Passed away today Wednesday, January 27Th. Best Known for the role that freaked me out Tangina Barrons of Poltergeist fame. She Passed away of natural causes at Barlow Respiratory Hospital in Los Angeles. She was 76 years old.
She was born May 28,1933, in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
In 1983, she won a Saturn Award for her work in Poltergeist (1982) Best Supporting Actress.
Her roles in Sixteen Candles as the organist, Teen Witch, Witchcraft, and Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon one of my all time favorite movies.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Boy my butt Hurts, CockHammer!

Rated MA 18+
Release Date 2009
Run Time 81 minutes
Starring The Hack Movie Gang
Kevin Strange
Joe Hammerstone
Erik Williams
Thaddeus Starbuckle
Amiee Donahue
Katie Dearest
Director: Kevin Strange
DVD Special Features include -Director Commentary -Cast Commentary -"Behind the cock" Vignettes -Bloopers! -and much more!

The Story: "CockHammer is the story of Terrence and Perander, two pill-popping swinger losers who's girlfriends are mysteriously kidnapped by CockHammer, a snuff porn kingpin, and occult sorcerer bent on unlocking the secrets of the dreaded black mage diary! Will Terrence and Perander figure out his heinous intentions and rescue their bitches in time to get their assholes fucked, or will the girls become the latest victims in CockHammer's elaborate plot to become a demigod?!

Where Did I find This: Flash Back Weekend vendor table. Me " so which one should I buy" Kevin" well here its (pointing to the movies on the table) (movie one:) no tits (movie two) a few tits (movie three) allot of tits!" Me "I'll take it" hands Hack Movies 10 bucks and walks away. Eric "I like his selling style"

I heard of Hack Movies out of a small town down south in Illinois through MySpace. I had the joy of meeting them for the first time at fango con in 2008. They gave me a demo disk, that cracked me up. This was right up my alley I love nothing more than cheesy no budget movies. So when I ran into them at FlashBack I knew I was going home with one cheese filled DVD.

What can I say other then they delivered! This was a well thought out movie not just gibberish tossed in a blender and spewed out onto a DVD. The make-up for a low budget was spot on. The actors did a fine job as well. Now the Boobs, they are there this is true and I guess this is a good thing because all good horror flicks have naked horror chicks. They may not be hot but they are boobs after all.
Now I must say this movie is not for everybody hell it is not for many people at all. I have never heard of a male and female lower extremity's listed in so many ways. And how many names can one group come up with for your backside? But that is part of this beauty the gift for gab. In a way, I felt like I was watching a very dirty Kevin Smith movie. I love talky movies and this one was not bad in the sense. You can tell that this group of friends does not have much to do in Southern Illinois other than smoke pot drink beer and make great low budget horror flicks. They have a great passion for what they are doing and are putting everything they have into their movies.
This movie was picked up by a small distributor Tempo Video allowing the world the chance to pick this up on major websites.This is one of those movies I would have brought into Suncoast Video to sell.
I look forward to the next video from these guys. They have those great flicks to sit in the man cave with a few bud's some beer and chips and a great time. Now I need to go listen to Hanna Monta to get their website promo song out of my head. Rock on Hack Movies Rock on!

Trailer Link
4 out 5 Bloody Brains

Monday, January 18, 2010

Not My Slice Of Pie

American Pie Presents Book of Love
Rated NR
Release Date:December 22, 2009
Running Time: 94 Minutes
Genre: Comedy
Director: John Putch

Cast:Eugene Levy, Bug Hall, Kevin M. Horton, Brandon Hardesty, Beth Behrs, Melanie Papalia,
Jennifer Holland, John Patrick Jordan, Cindy Busby, Naomi Hewer, Adrienne Carter

Dvd Extras:interactive menus; scene access; deleted scenes; gag reel; behind-the-scenes featurette; additional featurettes.

The Story: When Rob (Bug Hall), Nathan (Kevin M. Horton) and Lube (Brandon Hardesty) discover the sex bible left behind by their horny predecessors at East Great Falls High School, the hilarious quest for landing babes continues as the desperate virgins set out to score the big home run. But with the well-used and hallowed manual worn and missing some pertinent information, the boys' mission to lose their virginity is one hilarious mishap after another

Where did I pick this up: Netflix
Ok wow, how do I start this review? Hmm well, I like the American Pie spin-offs they have not been so bad. You laugh you see some nice flesh the Stiffler spin-off it is not bad. Anyhow that was then this is now. From opening credits in this movie was nothing but jokes that have been done already. Not one new thing and the cast was so dull I almost did not finish it. The 3rd act was a bad rip off of all the great 80's teen flicks like "Hot Dog" and "the Sure Thing". It just did not work. Anyway, I say skip it don't buy it's a rental only.
The best part of the movie was all the cameos at the end. The girls not cute but there is flesh and peanut butter sex that is not good.

2 Bloody Brains

Saturday, January 2, 2010

ok I'll Do it! Happy New Year.

So I keep reading all these Top 10 lists that everybody thinks they need to do. Then I ran across something different the Top 10 Horror Movies of the Decade. And it made my think hey way not nobody really reads my rambles anyway and it would be fun. Besides my taste is so far different from everybody else on this planet, don't believe ask my brother.

First a few Honorable Mentions:
  • My Name is Bruce; Staring, written and directed by Bruce Campbell himself. He really saved his ass with this one after The Man with the Screaming Brain. If you are a fan of Campbell you have seen this and you get it. If not well get out from that rock you dork.
  • Jason X; Why because I think this is one of the best Friday the 13Th they have made in years. Kane Hodder is Jason, the way he moves and walks, he really brings him to life. Sure they take the battle into space and that can be lame but for me it works, but the new evil upgrade was well done and received. I remember when this movie was never getting the release that it needed and the early days of the Internet I was able to score a bootleg and I was glad I did. The DVD is packed with great extras. I proudly display my Kane Hodder signed DVD front and center.
So as you can see already My list is going to be way different from yours ...Maybe? Know on with the blog.
  • 10. Hatchet "Old School American Horror". When I meet Adam Green at flashback I had already heard a lot of good things about this movie. After listing to his Q&A I was hooked. I could not wait for the DVD release. Sure the ending sucks butt the rest of the movie blew me away. Looking forward to Hatchet 2 and Frozen later this year.
  • 9. Texas Chain Saw Massacre; Why you ask, well as far as remakes go this was done really well. The update to the story worked, a the actors hit the spot. Makeup was great and it was at the time one of the best sounding movies. The DVD packaging was great and the DTS works well from home theaters.
  • 8. Devils Rejects; Rob Zombie grew up with his second afford. The dirt the grit the cast and the lines make this a great movie. The 70's style works for this and it did not get weird at the end like his first movie.
  • 7. My Bloody Valentine; finally somebody in Hollywood heard me. I have said all along quit trying to remake good movies that everybody already likes but remake the crap movies and make them better! I liked the original but the remake blew me out of the coal mine!
  • 6. Dawn of the Dead; This will be the last of the remakes on my list and it proves that the last ten years of movies sucked on originality. This is the movie that really kicked started the remake frenzy. At first, I felt like I was going to hate this movie running Zombies come on. But it works and it is scary as hell!
  • 5. Freddy Vs Jason; Back in 1989 when I was an Usher they talked about making this movie. Sure it took over 10 years to be made and it was worth the wait! Ask my wife I stood up and cheered in the theater. I really hope they do not try this again let this movie be. I can watch this movie every time it is on TV.
  • 4. Jeepers Creepers; Well this movie took me back in time when I first watched a monster movie. I love the Creeper he was a new face to add to a long list of Great Monsters! Sure part 2 was not very good but I hope that does not stop them from making more!
  • 3. Behind the Mask the rise and fall of Leslie Vernon; What a breath of fresh air to the Horror scene. This is a well-written movie. I did not see it coming at the end and yet I loved it. If you have not seen this movie you really owe it to yourself to give it a look.
  • 2. Bubba Ho-Tep; I drove an hour just to see this movie and I'm glad I did. You know you have seen it and if it is not part of your top 10 list then shame on you!
  • 1. Shaun Of the Dead; Need I say More.
So there you go love it or leave it! Happy New Year here is the next 10 years of crapping remakes and Saw Movies that suck!
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