Coming sooner than you planned

Zombie Babies
2011 | Color | 1 Hour 35 Minutes | Horror | R | Razor Sharp Productions


Director: Eamon Hardiman

Writer: Eamon Hardiman

Stars: 
Rob Cobb
Ford Austin
Missy Dawn
Kaylee Williams

When a group of expecting young couples head to Burt Fleming's mountaintop hotel for a weekend retreat (and discount abortions), they get more than they bargained for when the fetal undead come back for vengeance.



Do you remember those grosser than gross joke books? They were really big in the early part of the 80's? For some reason, one of those jokes always stuck with we, What is grosser than gross, A truckload of dead babies or a truckload of dead babies with one trying to eat its way out? Yeah, that was the joke I was forbidden to read those books. But on Friday nights we would walk the mall and sneak into the back  aisle of the bookstore just to read them and I think that might be what director and writer Eamon Hardiman may have done. Or simply just drank a ton of beer read a few of these jokes and wrote this movie. 
 


Hardiman does weave together a nifty little movie about college kids getting into trouble and find them self's looking for a cheap (Air Quotes) Coat Hanger abortion. Again the kind we heard about in high school which is odd because I was in high school during the late 80's and Hardiman was born in 1980 so how he came up with these old references is pretty clever. Sure the story is silly but that is what makes these low budget movies magical right? When you only have $5,000 to make your movie you have to find ways to be creative and that is why I love low budget schlock! They entrain you in different ways.




The locations are fairly cool they are in an old hotel-casino for a big chunk of the flick. Sure it does not seem like they are at times but they piece it together in editing very well.  There is a ton of green screen that add to the movie and they are bad! But bad in a good way that fact that you can see the shadow of the puppeteer somehow adds charm to Zombie Babies. And as far a the soundtrack goes I honestly do not remember one. In a way that is a good thing, it means I was more into the movie and music cue's were not needed to keep me watching. It's weird but I like that. Now I will tell you the sound editing is terrible, I had a hard time hearing them at times and the sync was off a few times as well. Now the lips, not matching did bug me at first but somehow it becomes part of the silliness that is this movie.  


Low budget films only work if you have clever writing and a good cast. Nobody want's to watch a movie with a bad story and actors that just got done doing Annie in their local theater. This cast works well together, in fact, its pretty hard not to fall in love with Kaylee Williams. I can not help but wonder why she has not done anything with a bigger budget yet. She is very easy on the eyes and really can act.  In fact, the other big movie by this group of friend is Porkchop been meaning to watch that for some time now and knowing that Williams is in it moves it closer to the top of my list to see soon. So come on Lionsgate sign this girl!


And speaking of the cast Shawn C Phillips is one of my favorite Vloggers and I have been wanting to check out his movies for some time now. When I saw his name pop up in the opening credits I could not wait!.Phillips has over 100 movie credits to his names like Ghost Shark and Grave Encounters 2 but his YouTube personality his where he shines. Shawn was battling his weight when I first stumbled onto his channel and he was such an inspiration with his weight loss journey over the years. I'm not going to lie his sex scene is pure cinema gold I laughed so loud at what he was saying I had to rewind it just to hear it again. And the amazing part he ad-libbed his dialogue in his sex scene! I'm telling you to check out this movie if not for anything else but these two actors!!


So let's talk Zombie Babies for a minute shall we I mean that is why we are here right. Ok, (Clears throat) so I did not hate the bad special effects that went down as Zombie Babies, there I said it. Yes the green screen shots are not keyed the best and they are just grossed up dolls you find at the dollar store but come on these things are funny as heck!


Come on look at how adorable they are, Charles Band would be proud of them for this low brow cheese! You can not go wrong when one of the undead fetuses lunges towards its intended victim and ends up being captured in an open spinning blender only to have its zombie baby penis fly into the mouth of someone nearby, ejaculating before she has a chance to remove it. Yes, this is the cheesy gold you find in this movie.


Ok, look Zombie Babies is in no way shape or form a good movie. However, I loved it and I'm glad I got to experienced it. Independent horror films take risks whether it be through vulgar jokes or bad effects and I for one support their efforts. If I would have watched this back in the 8th grade this would have been one of my go to movies when the guys came over. But sadly now in my 40's the movie falls short. It runs a little bit long at times and well the ending downright pissed me off!

So you only get...

Two Bloody Brains

The 13-year-old me after seeing this dirty joke filled movie with over 10 pairs of naked boobs...

4 Bloody Brains!






Comments

  1. Naked boobs can fix darn near anything.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Think that will work if I say that to my wife? Lol

      Delete
    2. Give it a try, man, give it a try!

      Delete
  2. Nice one Lady Debra...lol..
    Was about to comment about another film with really scary fetuses scene... (Asian film) Nori, the Curse"... some rather "disturbing" footage in that one...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Asian films are hard to watch! They just go all out, way to much for me!

      Delete
  3. Well we all grow up eventually. At 13, 10 pairs of boobs can really make a movie great!

    ReplyDelete

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